Dark side of the Moon - Loonatics Unleashed Online message boards

magicmeercat · Beast

Dark side of the Moon

stargirl · Human

I tihnk it's great!
Who are the mystery people going to threatin?

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

Hum...Very good for a first. The charecters are well in charecter.

Tell me though are one who all so believes that Aces past is filled with danger and crime that may come back to get him?

doggirl2772 · Out of This World

I luv this story so far! very interesting. reminds me that i should be trying to fix my own story... heh heh ... *chuckles nervously*

Guess I'm not the only one who thinks that there is more to Ace's past then meet the eye. ;)

and may i say... YAY! ANOTHER ACER! I greet you whole-heartedly, we need more Ace fans. *huggies magic meerkat*

-- Edited by doggirl2772 at 22:40, 2007-12-13

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

Uh oh! Someone is going to try and get Ace to become evil! Who are those mysterious people and what do they want with Ace? Keep up the good work Magicmeercat

.

magicmeercat · Beast

Thanks for all the replies. I'm glad you like it. And Ace forever. Not that im being biased or anything... Anyway on with the story.

Chapter 2- Hearing voices of the Past

Ace is in the training room, meditating. Silence surrounds him.

Voice: Ace…

Ace opens his eyes and looks around, seeing no one there he closes his eyes again.

Ace: That’s all I need, voices in my head.

Voice: Ace, why didn’t you help us? Why didn’t you come? Then this would have never of happened. But you can still help us, help them. Finish the job.

Ace’s eyes were shut tight and he seemed to be fighting against an unknown force.

Ace: No! No!

The voice suddenly became more violent.

Voice: YOU WONT HAVE A CHOCE!

A breeze filled the room and then disappeared. Ace opened his eyes, his breath heavy and sweating all over his face.

Ace: Hunderson?!

End of Chapter

Short. But what do you think? Please tell.

stargirl · Human

Great!!!! biggrin I really like it!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!

doggirl2772 · Out of This World

Hunderson? HUNDERSON! GET AWAY FROM MAH FAVE BUNNY! *glomps Ace protectively, then gets a confused look* Wait, who's Hunderson?

hehehe... mah bad. ah got too caughts up in the story! keep it up magicmeerkat!

magicmeercat · Beast

Ok, I can’t remember why this chapter is here. I think there was a reason. Any way. It is a good way for me to involve the other characters, so I decided to put it in. Funny think is Ace only has two lines hear. But he is the main character, so we will have a LOT more of him in the next chapies. And thanks to people for the nice replies!

Chapter 3 Back at HQ

Back at headquarters, Slam is eating while Rev is running around Tech. Lexi and Duck are watching TV. Tech is trying to build something, but Rev is distracting him.

Rev: Hey-Tech-what-ya-doing?-Wow-is-that-a-mole-conscripter-cos-they-are-so-hard-to-build-and-they-are-so-cool-even-though-a-mtl-is-more-hip-and-new.-But-you-can’t-beat-a-classic-design-kinda-like-a-phone-even-though-a-mole-conscripter-is-so-much-more-cool!

Tech: Maybe I should make a volume control for you, Rev. I’m trying to concentrate. If I don’t place the imagram in the right place, it could magniatic the cells. This would cause a quick release of Kinetic energy.

Rev: ?

Tech: sighed it will blow up.

Slam: hioexcnjsshff. Giving his opinion between a mouthful.

Rev: Yer-Slam-sometimes-you-do-make-more-sense-then-Tech.-But-Tech-is-a-super-smart-genious-and-our-brains-could-never-compare-with-his.-But-the-again-we-never-have-done-any-tests-so-you-never-know.-Hay!-Maybe-Slam-is-really-smarter-than-Tech-and-

Duck: Will you be quiet! Misty Breeze will be on soon!

Lexi: Is she the only thing you think about?

Duck: Yes. Of course. No one can compare to her. Duck stared at the TV dreamily

Rev: But-I-wanted-to-watch-TV,-Duck.-It-is-my-turn. He stole the remote.

Duck: No it’s my turn! He Quakes over to Rev and they start fighting over it, as Ace enters the room he looks a bit pale but tries to hide it.

Ace: Umm guys we do have more than one TV.

Lexi: Ace are you alright? She looks at him concerned.

Ace: It’s nothing. As Lexi goes to persist and find out what was wrong with their leader, the alarm goes off.

Tech: Someone is attacking people at AtomsPark!

Ace: The TV can wait. Let’s Jet!

Lexi decided to quiz Ace later. They needed to help the people in the park.

Duck: The TV can wait! They all run out.

End of Chapter

What do you think? And while typing I’ve found a good reason for the chapter! Not the original reason I’ll admit, but a reason.

-- Edited by magicmeercat at 09:44, 2007-12-17

stargirl · Human

Its fab! Any idea when the next chapter will be up?
Keep up the great work!

doggirl2772 · Out of This World

Ace seems pretty shaken up about this Hunderson guy. Wonder why.

Oooh... I bet the next chapter is gunna be awsome! Keep it up!

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

Can I say something MMC? This is good and all but I got confused when you put the actions of each character on the same line and the same writing as the dialogue. I think you gotta separate them to make more sense to the reader. Either by brackets, bolding up the writing, or merely putting it below or above the dialogue.

But overall, keep up the good work.

magicmeercat · Beast

Thank you Akira Cat! i know i had forgoten something!

magicmeercat · Beast

Chapter 4 - The Past never leaves you

The Loonatics arrive at the park. 20 guys are shooting at the running people. One of them turns around and on seeing the Loonatics, he grins.

Bad guy 1: Hay look who came to join the party!

Bad guy 2: Come on boys lets make them feel welcome. He hit his clenched fist in his open hand.

Duck: Guys with guns? Aren’t we a bit too super to do this kind of stuff?

Ace: There’re still bad guys, come on. Something was bothering Ace. He didn’t know why, but he recognized something about the guys. First voices and know this? I don’t like this. Ace thought to himself.

Lexi blasted the one nearest her, but he dodged it easily. He turned his gun on her and almost hit her, but she rolled out of the way just in time. Rev was dodging shots from unknown shooters, so he was having a hard time.

Duck was quacking around trying to confuse his enemy, but was failing. Slam started off better, knocking out five shooters. Suddenly Slam’s world turned blue before going black. One guy had hidden then snuck up behind him. Tech was throwing metal at his opponent, but like Lexi’s shooter the unknown enemy dodged them easily.

Ace was doing better than the others. He had knocked out two of them and was dodging three others. He notices the guy who shot down Slam was talking into a communicator. He nodded to something and put his had up in a weird shape.

Next to Ace, Tech fell, a net was glowing green and trapped him. His eyes were closed. The over side of him, Rev had finally been shot. A red net covering him. Slam had already been covered with a purple net.

Ace suddenly realized why he recognized the men. Their uniform. He hadn’t looked at it closely before, too caught up in the battle. The signal. It all made sense.

Ace: Lexi! Duck! Get out of here. Too late. Lexi and Duck were down.

Ace was surrounded. A hologram appeared in front of him. Ace’s eyes widened.

Well do you guys want to know what will happen? I don’t cos I know most of it, but maybe you could help. Oh, sorry to Slam fans. I’ve knocked him out twice now.

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

Cool Chapter. But I think there's a text somewhere where it was the same boldness and it confused me. It was this:

Ace: There’re still bad guys, come on. Something was bothering Ace. He didn’t know why, but he recognized something about the guys. First voices and know this? I don’t like this. Ace thought to himself.

Other than that, keep up the good work

stargirl · Human

Great chapter! I can't wait to see what happens!

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

More!!!

doggirl2772 · Out of This World

*takes deep breath*
more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more... please!

:)

magicmeercat · Beast

Happy New Year all. Soz it took so long needed motivate to type it up. Next time I’ll higher someone to slap me if I don’t get enough of this done.

Chapter 5- Old faces, New Business

Man in hologram: Hello Ace, long time no see.

Ace looked at him darkly, his eyes filled with hatred.

Ace: I was hoping it would be a bit longer, Hunderson.

Hunderson: Come now Ace, we’re all friends here. Don’t take that tone. The last part was more of an order, than a request.

Ace: You don’t give me orders anymore.

Hunderson: I think you’ll find everyone takes my orders Ace. Besides I have a proposition for you.

Ace: I don’t want to hear it. He turned to walk away.

Hunderson: I would have thought you valued your friend’s lives more than that.

He said it casually, as if it didn’t matter. Ace froze, his blood went cold. The image of Hunderson smirked. He had the rabbit’s attention. He just needed to close the deal. After all it was all business

Hunderson: The nets over them will kill them, slowly and painfully. Right in front of you. And I’m sure my boys, can test out their new torture techniques on the coyote.

Ace: You’ve done your homework

Hunderson: It’s what I do to get what I want. And I always get what I want. Hunderson smiled he was winning.

Ace: What do you want? He felt helpless.

Hunderson: I want you back. You were the best. You’ve only gotten better at what you do.

Ace stared at him darkly. He looked around at his friends. As his eyes landed on each of his team-mates he cursed himself. He should have known his past would catch up with him. At last his eyes reached Lexi. He sighed, she looked so peaceful. He couldn’t let them be hurt for his mistakes.

He turned to Hunderson. At the nodding of his head, the man smiled and Ace was teleported away from his friends.

End Chapter

What will happen, if you want to know please tell me what you think. I’m quite happy with this chapter, how about you? Thanks for you comments, they mean a lot to me. Now to finish chapter 8. I am going to be killed by Tech fans of even suggesting torturing Tech. *laughs nervously*. *runs away*

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

This is getting good. The anticipation is killing me! And what does the man want with Ace? I'm just gonna have to wait patiently like a good girl. Keep it up MMC

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

NNNUUUU!!!!! DON'T HURT MAH TECHIE!!!!! *hugs Tech tightly*

Tech: Can't..breathe...oxygen..levels..disapating...losing...consciousness....

doggirl2772 · Out of This World

Ohhh... poor Techie...

and, GASPS! Why does tht Hunderson guy want Ace? Sure Ace may be the best, but by the sound of it, this dude has lots of others that are good. And since when has Ace ever been in a gang?! *is whack'd upside the head*

Lexi: You just never learn, do you?