Love letters Tech/Rev - Loonatics Unleashed Online message boards

techfan979 · MagykWire

Love letters Tech/Rev

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.2

The loonatics were talking randomly about the annoyances of fan-mail, when Slam came out the elevator door hauling a total of 14 boxes of mail on a wagon.

When the loonatics all raised their heads and looked at the unusual amount of mail, they all sighed and sunk back into the couches. Duck quickly realized this meant hours of boredom and rushed to say ''WOOPS, sorry, I forgot I have an appointment with the eye doctor! Gotta go.'' Ace quickly grapped Duck's shoulder, pushed him back into the couch and said ''Nah, yoi used dat one last week Doc''

Duck looked into the air and grunted. Then Lexi said abit smugly ''Relax Duck, you only got one box anyway.'' Duck replied is his usual arogant tone ''Oh, that must just be due to lack of media attention.'' As he crossed his arms and raised his chin.

A couple minutes went and all the loonatics were practically swimming in letters as they struggled to process them as fast as possible. The only people who sent Tech papir letters were fan-girls, endless hordes of fan-girls. Tech hurried through the letters until he got to one that caught his eye and made him read it with more attention. It was a poem...

Love is such a wonderful thing
All the happiness it can bring

But all the leaves have fallen down
Turned from green into brown

Now my heart is not complete
In a heart-broken sorrow, I cry in defeat.

A love so deep can make you sick
Now I know that love is a cruel trick

Where lovers see the beauty in light
But now it is over and out of sight.

Tech was abit stunned in awe, but then thought to himself ''Sorry, your a decent poet, but my heart only goes out to one speacil roadrunner.'' He looked over at Rev who was almost done with his last box thanks to his super-speed.

Lexi seemed to notice Tech had stopped and was actuelly giving thought to a letter. She immediately asked ''Hey Tech, whatcha got there?'' Tech put the poem in his read pile and quickly said ''Oh, its nothing I was just day-dreaming.''

What neither Tech or Lexi noticed was that Rev had been listening to them and now had the most disappointed expression on his face.

Well thats chapter 2. I have the poetic talent of a vacum cleaner, so I'd like to give the credit of the poem used to... *drum roll* Akira_cat!

-- Edited by techfan979 at 17:44, 2007-12-30

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt. 3

Tech had just gotten back into his room after doing this days mail routine. He could'nt stop thinking of Rev since he read that poem yesterday.

Tech hated thinking about Rev, because everytime he did, he fealt the pain of loving something he thought he'd never have.

He walked over to his bed and collapsed on it. He turned over on his back, grabbed his Rev plushie, and hugged it with all his strength. Tech loved hugging the Rev plushie whenever he was feeling down over Rev. He kept hugging it and nuzzling it's head with his nose.

He opened his eyes and looked at the little white tag sticking out of its waist that read ''Made by Acmetropolis toys inc.''

The sight of this completely illuminated the fact he was just hugging a toy, he fealt pathetic now. Enraged, he kicked his feet out of the bed and on the ground so he was sitting firmly and threw the plushie as hard as he could into the floor.

When it hit the floor something triggered the voice box to say ''I love you'' in the fashion you'd expect from a plushie or doll. This immediatly extinguished Techs rage and just made him feel even worse now.

He picked up the plushie and kept it in his hand, just before he put his head down on his arms and started crying for a while.

A knock came at the door and Lexi's voice said ''Tech, I'ts been pretty quite in there. Are you OK?''

Tech raised his head, sniffled, and replied ''Yeah, I'm fine Lexi'' ''If only that was true'' He thought to himself.

-- Edited by techfan979 at 20:53, 2007-12-29

-- Edited by techfan979 at 20:55, 2007-12-29

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

good so far Techfan!

techfan979 · MagykWire

Siamese712 wrote:

good so far Techfan!

Danke. I hope to be posting the 4th part today.

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.4

Rev walked into his room and sighed. He still could'nt beleive Tech didnt like the poem.
''Oh, its nothing.'' Rev could still hear these words in his head and was still feeling the dissapointment.

He sat down on his bed and picked up his Tech plushie. ''Why did'nt you like it?'' He said to the plushie in a slow and sad pace with droopy eyes.

Rev thought aloud to himself in his usual tone ''But-I-could-have-sworn-he-looked- stunned-for-a-second- and-what-else-could-he-have-said-to-Lexi? He-was-in-a-hurry-afterall-with-all-that-mail. I-probably-would-have-said-the-same-to-Lexi-if-I-was-him. It-was-anonymous and-kinda-awkward-and-stuff''

Rev understood Tech probably did'nt mean what he said and hugged his plushie with a smile. Rev fealt happier now, he always fealt happy after hugging his plushie. He fealt like making a new poem. ''But-about-what?'' He thought to himself. He looked at his tech plushie and noticed its nose was somewhat heart shaped. ''I've-got-it!''

Rev rushed over to his desk and started writing. When he was done he put it in a envelope and adressed it to the HQ. He wanted to mail it immeidatly so there was no chance it would be found in his room. He kept the letter in his hand since there were no pockets in the loonatics uniforms and raced out the door at super-speed.

He got to the mailbox at the end of the street and realized he wasnt holding the letter anymore.

techfan979 · MagykWire

What I would especially like to know is if you think I'm capturing the characters good enough.

techfan979 · MagykWire

Before I post the next chapter... Is kissing allowed to be posted here?

peridiotgirl · Human

heck ya! other stories have scenes like this too! biggrin

techfan979 · MagykWire

peridiotgirl wrote:

heck ya! other stories have scenes like this too!

You got it! Pt.5 coming up!

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.5

Rev realized he must have dropped it. ''Oh-no-no-no-no-no-this-isnt-happening!'' Rev started to babble. He raced back to the hq at super speed.

Tech just came out of his room when he noticed a little white envelope on the floor abit outside of Revs door. He picked it up and when he saw it was addressed to him at the HQ he immediately opened it to find another poem.

A heart is such a beautiful shape
With a lovely pair of breasts
That rests upon a chest
With the perfect point below.
But it didn't matter if it doesn't have any arms
Or even a long pair of legs
A heart is still a beautiful shape
And what a figure it has too.

Tech was extremely confused now, what was it doing there?

Rev raced in the hallway. ''Its-gotta-be-there-its-gotta-be-there!'' He was babbling in a paniced state. Rev stopped just where the letter used to be and grapped Techs boot. Realizing that Techs boot was obviously not the letter he feared the worst as he looked up.

He saw Tech holding the unfolded poem, looking down at him with a confused and awkward expression.

''Uh... HI'' Rev said nervously as he stood up slowly. He was sweating like mad and his cheeks were hot to the touch.

''Did... you... write this?'' Tech asked slowly in an uncertain way.

''No-no-no-no-no-no-why-would-I-write-a-poem-to-you? Your-a-guy-and-a-coyote-and-I'm-not-into-guys-and-coyotes-and-stuff!''
Rev sputtered out looking more phony than ever.

''Then why were you looking for it?'' Tech replied with abit more certainity in his voice. Tech knew it was him. Rev wrote him a poem for him! Two poems! Rev was the secret admirer!

''Ok-it-was-me! Please-please-please-please-please-dont-tease-me-or-tell-the others! I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm...''

Rev was cut off when by a forceful pair of lips belonging to a certain coyote. Rev was so confused. He was sure Tech was going to do something... else. He knew Tech liked him now too since their faces were virtually locked to eachother right now.

Tech forced Rev onto the wall and they stayed like this with their arms wrapped around eachother and their lips locked for almost 2 minutes.

The credit of the poem used here also goes to Akira_cat!

Und dat is mein new years geschenke to all you fellow Tevs!

-- Edited by techfan979 at 09:01, 2008-01-01

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.6

Tech and Rev were in Tech's room lying on eachother on his bed. They had been cuddling for a half hour and just talking about things.

''I was so sad when you said what you said about my first poem Tech, you know.'' Rev said in his closest to normal tempo. ''But I still dont know, did you really like it?''

''If I didnt like it, why would it be in my drawer right here?'' Tech said in a bit of a cheeky way as he opened his night stand drawer, revealing Rev's poem inside.

''Oh-you-did-like-it!'' Rev spurted out in his normal tone as he gave Tech the bear-hug of his life.

''Guys, are you in there? Cos Rev's room is empty and his Mom&Dad are here.'' Lexis voice said through the door.

Rev looked at Tech with huge worried eyes. ''Tech-lexi-has-super-hearing! Oh-my-god-oh-my-god-oh-my-god!
She-could-have-heard-everything!''

''Ha-ha, Rev dont worry, I sound-proofed my room against that looong ago when I err... *cough* learned the hard way.''

''Phew! I-was-really-really-really-really-worried-for-a-second.''

''I can see that, your face is redder than the triangle on your suit!''
Tech said looking rather amused.

''But it looks like you have to go see your Mom&Dad now''
Tech urged.

Rev came back a while after. Tech was sitting at his desk in his room now.

''What did they say?'' Tech asked

''I'm-going-back-home-to-finish-roboamigo-with-my-pap. He-wants-me-to-join-the-family-business-so-badly.
But...''

''What?''

''I've-been-working-on-roboamigo-forever-and-I-just-cant-finish
anything-and-I-really-really-really-really-dont-wanna-let-pap-down.''

''Hmm... What if I came with you and err... gave you a hand?''

''No-way! My-parents-would-never-ever-ever-ever-ever-EVER let-a-coyote-in-their-house!''

Tech smirked. ''Not even a vegitarian coyote?''

''That-just-might-work! I'll-go-ask-pap-right-now!'' Rev said in his peppy way as he raced into the living room again.

This scernario is inspired by the episode ''A family business'' from season 2, except for the cuddling part of course.

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.7

Tech and Rev were working on the roboamigo in Rev's room. Since then Rev's parents had allowed Tech to come with Rev.

''It doesnt feel right him being here, even if he is a vegitarian'' Ralph runner (Rev's pa) said to Rev.

''He-just-wants-to-learn-best. Right-Tech?''

''Thats right, and the best is definitely in the room.'' Tech replied as he stood by the unfinished roboamigo with Rip (Rev's little brother)

''Well, good to see a coyote who knows his limitations.'' Ralph said quite smugly

Tech growled in frustration when he heard this.

Arian (Rev's ma) Came in and said to Ralph ''C'mon dear, we have to go to the parent teacher meeting at Rip's school.''

''That's today? Ugh!'' Ralph protested as he left with Arian.

''Im SO out of here'' Rip said as he left to go to his room.

''Tech-lets-go-work-in-my-room.'' Rev said as he winked to Tech.

-CENSOR CUT-

techfan979 · MagykWire

Could I have some more comments? Bitte?

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.8

Note: I had to cut quiet a bit out.

''We're just lucky it was'nt ma&pa that opened the door on us. How awkward would that have been?'' Rev said while getting out of his bed.

Everyone was sitting down at the dinner table. Tech was trying as hard as he could to choke down the bird-seed. Arian smiled at him as he took a spoon full and tried to look as pleased as possible.

''So hows it going with that roboamigo? What did you get done today?'' Ralph suddenly asked.

Tech, Rev, and Rip all just looked up and sent eachother awkward looks.

Basically Rip caught them doing... you know what. Its more elaborate then just that, but I dont want to risk telling about it and preceeding the 'teen' limit.

techfan979 · MagykWire

Pt.9

Tech and Rev were in Rev's room getting ready to go to sleep.

''You know I honestly still cant beleive your parents wanted me to just sleep on the floor!'' Tech complained to a pajama-dressed Rev getting into his bed.

''Oh-well-you-know-they-have-coyote-issues-and-think-since-your-a
dog-you-can-just-sleep-anywhere-anytime!'' Rev said sitting up in his bed supporting himself with his arms.

''I'm a COYOTE!''

''I-know-that-silly. Of-course-your-a-coyote-and-a-Canis-latrans!''

Techs face expression changed slowly to a gentle smile
''Aww, you know the latin word for it. But I still dont know where I'm supposed to sleep!''

''Up here with me of course!'' Rev said in a slower pace and a wide smile.

''I thought of that, but what if someone walks in, I mean its not a double bed!''

''Dont-worry-tech-what-would-they-come-in-here-for-since-we-can-
handle-ourselves-at-this-age-and-I-have-a-great-emergency-
precidere-if-they-should-anyway!''

Tech just smiled shortly and got in to the bed as Rev layed down and pulled the blanket over both of them. Tech and Rev just layed on their sides facing eachother looking into eachothers eyes.

Rev broke the silence as he whispered ''What about the others?''

Tech immediately understood and replied ''We'll just tell them when we're ready I guess...''

All of sudden the door creaked open and Tech fealt two, more or less scaly bare feet kicking him out of the bed at super-speed. When he looked up at Rev with an unpleased expression, Rev just acted like he had always been there on the floor.''

As the door went all the way open they could see it was Rip coming in his pajamas. He closed the door silenty behind him as not to wake Ma&Pa runner who had also just gone to bed.

''Hey'' Rip greeted in his usual tone.

''Hey Rip what are you doing here?''

Tech and Rev just looked at Rip as he started walking towards them and sat cross-legged on the floor. There were a couple moments of silence as they all looked at eachother.

''I just came to talk to you guys.''

''I can imagine you have plenty on your mind...''

''Only if its ok with you two.''

''Aww... you can talk to us about anything. Right Tech?''

''sure, of course Rip.''

''Umm... it was... pretty weird catching you guys... doing...
or having...''

''We know Rip, its ok.''

''I just wanna say that its totally OK with me, and that you'll always be my brother, and brothers... boy-friend.'' Rip looked at Tech with a raised eyebrow as he said the last words.

''Thanks Rip.''

''Aww... Rip.''

''But, I just have some questions. Like how long have you been...''

''Tommorow will be our first full day.'' Tech and Rev smiled at eachother. Rip noticed how happy they were and smiled just abit too.

''Umm... but what about Ma&Pa?''

''Err... Rev... I think thats your question.''

Rev was completely silent. He was abit terrified of the idea of telling them.

''Uhh... we'll have to talk about that some other time...''

''I understand bro, but I promise I wont tell them or anyone else.''

''Thanks alot Rip. Cmon, gimme a hug.'' Rip got up and hugged his brother warmly. Then went back over to Tech who was still laying on the floor.

''You should have a hug too... I guess.''

''Aww.'' Tech got up to hug Rip too, although not as warmly. Rip left the room quietly as Tech and Rev followed him with their eyes. Tech got back into bed.

''Wow, hes usually never like that.'' Rev whispered to Tech.

''Its great he was so understanding, but what do we do about your Ma&Pa?''

''Like I said to Rip, we'll just have to talk about that later. Its still only our first day afterall.''

Tech just nodded. Tech and Rev lay looking into eachothers eyes as they drifted off to sleep.

THE END

Phew! And I thought myself an uncreative person...

There will be a love letters 2!

And please please give me constructive-criticism&comments!!

Dragon Wing · Gone

Since I do admit (and have previously admitted) that I kinda do like the Tech/Rev pairing, I will offer a critique. And a full critique, since I just came back from a hardcore speech and debate tournament in which I freaking OWNED and am in a really good mood. I'll probably never write a Tech/Rev fan fic myself, but I am not at all adversed to reading a good one by someone else.

I will start with the Pros.

I liked how you begun the story. With the annoyance of checking emails and fan letters. It sets up the inciting incident and then the conflict rather nicely. And it kind of creates a good theme, which goes along with the title.

The tension and insecurity and fear of unrequited love are always a good way to go in beginning romance stories. You have done this well. I especially liked the hugging of the plushies. It was both cute and sad. I will only suggest that, in the future, you stretch this out a little further. The more complex the conflict and the longer its drawn out, the more suspenseful and thereby better it gets.

The problem of Rev's parents possibly finding out is a very good an relevant conflict to use, especially with this pairing in this kind of situation. The way you had it definitely sets up for a sequel and adds a little suspense and fear of being found out to the romantic parts.

Critiques (dun dun dun)

First thing I feel I need to address is the 2nd poem. I mean no offense... but it's just more awkward to me than romantic. I should note that I have never really been good at implementing poems into stories myself. I can write poems fine if they are separate, but not if its entwined into a story. I'm not really sure why. But for future suggestion, this is what I always do: Song lyrics. They really work quite well, and its better if they're more obscure, as people will not as easily recognize them. Plagiarism be damned - this is unpublished fan fiction. However, its also good way to plug in one of your favorite bands by citing them as the source of the poem. (At least thats the benefit in it for me, being somewhat of a music freak.)

As I stated earlier, you describe the feelings of insecurity and fear of unrequited love to the extent of hopelessness (lol run-on sentences) very well. One thing I'd emphasize more is the feeling they get when they finally do unite. You don't really go into this very much. It'd probably be more effective if you did.

OK... this is very important. Don't mention that something is cut, even if there is. Work your way around it somehow. It's rather disconcerting to be with the knowledge that you missed a large portion of the story (and kinda uncomfortable if you're not into the kinda content you were suggesting there.) I am too lazy to come up with a scenario that would have got you completely around that hole, but it's probably not all that difficult to think of one.

This little criticism might just be my own preference, so you don't really need to listen to it, but I'll say it anyway. It seems to me that Rip is a little too accepting of all of this. If I saw my brother doing it with some other dude I'd probably be scarred for life. This, again, goes back to my previous suggestion. Working your way around the cut content. I could see Rip being this accepting if he just saw them give a peck on the lips (beak? muzzle? whatev I'm not good at this.) I guess what I'm saying is that if there is an adult story, and your posting it to a non-adult place, it's better to come up with a completely new scenario instead of placing a nice big "Cut For Content" in the middle of things. It might sound hard and time consuming, but it would really, really, really help your story.

One last thing, and this isn't a critique as so much a suggestion based, again, on my own preferences. Stories like this, however effective they are, can become at least 826% more effective if you explain WHY they fell in love each other. What happened prior to all this to make them feel this way? This, however, CAN be hard to do, so I'm by no means telling you to do it. Just FYI.

Hope that helped!

-- Edited by Dragon Wing at 00:18, 2008-01-06

techfan979 · MagykWire

Hmm... your right. I knew I wasnt writing enough about their actual feelings and why they fell in love with eachother. But to be honest I just could'nt formulate it right, if I had included most of the things I scrapped while writing this it would'nt have gone very smoothly and would have been worse.

You are totally right about making an R rated version and teen rated version.

About Rip, I think its important we realize the year is 2772. I think its stretching it we even include ANY form of social homo-phobia, but that it'd take away alot of the potential for dramatic content. We dont wanna lose potential for dramatic content now, do we? Plus Rip is a kinda mellow punk like guy in his mid teens. He'd probably come from an enviroment PACKED with bis.

I tried to show abit of repulsion in the scene were all that actuelly happened.

The sequel is going to be a huge improvement. You also gave me the idea I could make a directors cut, lol. Or what is it called when they go back and edit a movie? A directors cut is just when the director gets to edit instead right?

Jetsir · Martian

This was pretty good, though there were some grammar and spelling errors, but spell and grammar checker should fix that nicely. Also, Rip was out of character (though he only got one episode so I understand it's hard to get a personality out of that).

Sorry, I'm just very critical when it comes to fanfics, but I reallly did like this, the plot was good.

techfan979 · MagykWire

Thankyou, but how do you mean out of character? How do you think he would have acted?

Jetsir · Martian

Hmm, well I think you were right in the fact that he wouldn't tell their parents about what was going on, but I think Rev would've had to go to him asking if he wouldn't tell and if Rip was ok with it. Rip would probably reply with something along the lines of, "Yeah, whatever, just don't get all mushy around me," then Rev would've given him a bear-hug. I also don't think Rip under any circumstances would offer hugs to people. I don't know, that's just how I see it -shrugs-

techfan979 · MagykWire

Well I guess we've just interpreted his character diffrently. Because I think he'd probably be more mature than ''dont get all mushy around me.'' And I think he's also smart enough to know automatically not to tell his parents. In fact I think it would be out of character if he did.