The Big Mistake - Loonatics Unleashed Online message boards

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

The Big Mistake

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

Oh, you did paragraph it.

Like i said PG, it looks like a good start, and should I say what I think is going on with Lexi?

Franz Nerdlinger · Sad Christmas

I'm glad you decided to share your first fanfiction with all of us here at LUO. X3 Not to sound authoritative or anything, since I'm pretty new here and at writing fanfiction, but welcome to the boards. ^^

Anyway, now to a critique. ^_^ I may not have written many fanfictions yet, but I do have experience in the grammatical and fictional fields.

Your story is interesting, but there are a few moments where you could benefit from identifying a speaker. For example, during longer exchanges of dialogue, you may want to include who's speaking, how they're saying it, (Eg, happily, angrily, sarcastically, etc.) and even what they're doing. (Standing, making a sandwich, stuff like that.) This will help establish detail, and the overall tone of their conversation. Your dialogue itself worked well at conveying the tone, however. Adding detail will be helpful in the future, though.

Also, your story could benefit from adding further detail, such as describing where the events are taking place, whether they're inside or outside, seated or laying down, etc. For a while, I was convinced they were lying outside and looking up at the stars, but after I read further, I wasn't quite sure.

Something you need to work on for clarity is your period and comma placement, especially during dialogue. At some places, the commas are added where they aren't needed, or they're missing where they would be helpful. Also, sometimes you've placed your periods in spots where they break the flow of what should have been one sentence. This was most noticible in the conversation between Ace and Lexi, and sometimes made things a little confusing to read. One way to make sure everything flows properly is to read it out loud, pausing at the commas you've put it and stopping briefly at the periods.

Your fic looks promising, and I'm actually interested in reading more, despite the fact that I don't like Lexi or Ace. XD Also, I kinda used the opportunity to practice reviews for when I become an English teacher. ^_^ Hope you don't mind - or take offense to - what I've had to say. Keep writing!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Hi, Thanks to Siamese712 and Franz Nerdingler for reading & Replying.

To anyone interested: I will be uploading the new chapter soon, after I make the necessary changes that Franz (Nerdingler) Suggested!

Thansk for the support and helpful suggestions!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Hi this is my second Chapter. I know it's short, but I need to create the flashback before I can upload the rest!!

For now, Enjoy

“Well, its official.” Ace sighed and put down the tester.

He sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at a white tester before him. Lexi, who had just returned from having a shower in Ace’s bathroom, frowned at the sight of him.

He always looked heroic and brave, in her eyes, ready to help at any time, but still, he always had a playful and positive attitude.
Seeing him in this state; ears drooped slightly, his back arched over, and the uncomfortable silence she was met with, was enough to make her stop dead in her tracks.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly.

“It’s not your fault!” Lexi said, running over and hugging him.

“I should’ve been more careful.”

The tone of Lexi’s voice was both sorrowful and playful. Ace, who was slightly confused, stared down at her.

“Wha, what do you mean?” He asked, quizzical at Lexi’s answer.

“I should’ve known that this could happen to me...and besides it kinda was me who aroused the whole...er... ‘situation...”

-------------------------------------- Flashback------------------------------

I know it's short, but I'm pretty sure I'll think of a flash back soon. But right now I've got a bit of writers block, and I'm really tired!! I'll upload soon, I promise!

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 16:39, 2008-09-06

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

Do continue PG

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Siamese!

I will soon!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Ok heres Chapter 3

(This could be the first, of many parts to the flashback!)

Flashback

“Guys! I could really do with some help up here!” Lexi screamed.

The Loonatics were, once again, battling Dr Dare and his army of Rock Monsters. Though at this point the team were unsure of how Dr Dare was freed after being turned to stone for the second time since their first encounter with the madman.

Lexi had accidentally been caught by one of the Rock Monsters and was currently being carried away, against her will.

“Hang on Lexi, we’ll get you down. “ Duck called with a grim face “I’m just not exactly sure how!”

“Right now Duck,.... I’m not worried about..... hanging on, considering... I’m being.... held, and having my..... hips crushed by some...Thing!” She called out, through stopping for gasps of air every so often.

“Good to know!” Duck shouted with sarcasm as he gave her a thumbs up, but teleporting shortly afterwards to avoid being crushed by Lexi's captor.

“Any ideas Tech?” Ace asked his coyote friend as he watched his helpless team-mate struggle against the grip of the Rock Monster.

“Yes. I can liquify that useless pile of Rock with my Atomic Phase Departiculator! But it’s back at HQ.” Tech replied.

“OK” Ace said, turning to Rev, “you go get it. And HURRY!”

Ace’s sudden loud command caught the others by surprise. And they now all stared at their leader, wide-eyed.

“A little keen to get her backs safely, aren’t we?” Duck exclaimed raising his eyebrows in a smug manor.

“Er...well...Um, Rev just go!” Ace sighed

The team, minus Lexi and the now embarrassed Ace, exchanged glances

"He soooooooooo likes her!" Duck whispered to Slam.

Within moments the red and black clad road runner returned with Tech’s APD. (Atomic Phase Departiculator)

Tech shot a single beam at the Rock monster and it immediately turned into water.

“Whoa!” Lexi screamed as she fell to the ground.

“Gotcha!” Ace said as Lexi fell into his arms.

“Thanks, and nice catch!” Lexi commented.

“Kjglhidkjkjgk Eat?”

“Yeah slam, we’ll get something to eat, once we get the king of rock here in the slammer!” replied Ace.
As he spoke, Tech slipped a pair of Handcuffs onto Dr Dane’s wrists. And he was, once again, taken to the Acmetropolis subterranean prison.

----------

After eating lunch at a nearby diner the Loonatics were walking back to their Head Quarters. Tech, Rev, Slam and Duck were walking a considerable way ahead of Ace and Lexi, who were walking along side each other, talking.

“Again, thanks for...saving me today, Ace.”

“No problem Lex, so are you sure you’re OK?”

“I’m fine, only, now it’s raining!”

“What’s so bad about a little rain?” Ace asked smirking at the thought of what her answer could be about.”
Suddenly a loud clap of thunder brought Ace back to reality.

“Awww man, now this is really gonna mess up my hair!” exclaimed Lexi as she and Ace started to quicken the pace as they drew closer to Head Quarters.

That's the first part of the Flash back so far, I will try and post the next chapter soon!

Thanks for all the comments!

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 09:43, 2008-09-07

Rye · Angela is always right!

Good job so far. Keep at it. ^ ^;

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Rye!

I'm quite tired write now, But luckily I've written the next chapter already!

So I'll post It now, but I will apologise in advance if I do not add the rest for a while, as scholl is back for me, and I prefur to get Homeowrk done sooner rather than later. But when I get the chance I will post some more!

But for now: Here you go!

Chapter 4

(This is continuing on from the flashback)

After drying off, The Loonatics went away to do their separate things. Tech went to work on another experiment, Slam, Rev and Duck were watching TV. Lexi and Ace were training in the Virtual trainer.

“So Lex...” Ace asked whilst slicing a virtual robot in half.

“Yeah, whoa!”Lexi just managed to miss a shot from a virtual trainer as it shut down, but she lost her balance in the process.

“Whoa, careful!” Ace dashed over and caught her before she fell.

“Gotcha again Lex!” Ace chuckled as he helped her to her feet.

“Thanks Ace, this is really not my day!” she smiled.

“Now...what was it you were saying earlier?”

“Well, Um...err...I was wondering...if...”

“Don’t tell me the fearless leader, Ace Bunny, is at a loss for words?” Lexi giggled.

“I was wondering...”

“Yes.”

“I was wondering...If you wanted to come to dinner with me.” Ace finished.

“What is this, you, asking me on a date?” Lexi asked blushing.

“Well, yeah I guess.” Ace replied, finally regaining his confidence.

“Then, hypothetically, if I were to go, what time?” She asked slyly

“I don’t know seven?”

“Then, Ok!” Lexi blurted, she kissed his cheek before happily walking out of the room.

Ace stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. Gleefully, he touched the place on his cheek where Lexi had kissed him, before triumphantly pounding his fist into the air, and also, leaving the room.

It was 7:00 and Ace was wearing a smart Black Jacket with matching trousers, white shirt and tie.
He was busy talking with the others.

“Sooooooo, you finally asked her out then.” Duck said, nudging Ace in the ribs.

“yeah-I-mean-we’ve-always-known-that-you-like-her-and-we’ve-been-waiting-for-ages-for-the-two-of-you-to-actually-go-out-or-at-least-do-something-that-people-in-a-relationship-wou-“
Rev’s rant was interrupted when Tech clamped his beak shut. A muffled; ‘Hey!’ could be heard coming from the bird’s closed mouth.

“You did good chief” Tech commented “so where are you taking her?”

“Don’t know, we’ll discuss on the way.” Ace replied.

“Speaking of women, how come you’ll be on a date before I’ve even had one?”

“Maybe it’s because you’re such a charmer, and they get shy and flustered whenever they want to ask you out?” Lexi said sarcastically as she entered the main room.
She was wearing a pink strapless dress with a green belt around her waist to match her normal ribbon she used to tie her ears back.
She also wore a translucent green shawl around her arms.“So do you wanna get goin’?”

Ace asked getting up and walking over to her.

“Yep. Let’s go!” Lexi replied happily.

The two of them left leaving the rest of the team to their own devices.

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 16:37, 2008-09-07

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

HeeHee! i have to do this:

Ace and Lexi sitin' in a tree!
going on a date not knowing they'll soon be three.

Good work PG.

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Siamese, Nice rhyme! LOL

Thanks for the commetns Guys!

I've got alot of Homework to do (My science is to research 'The Large Hedgeron Collider'

, but when I get a break, I'lll write the next chapter.

Thanksf ro the support Siamese, The Loonatics Angel is going great so far!

Alex Bunny · Anthros

i like it can't wait for the next chappie

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Alex, I'll write it soon, maybe even tonight, dunno

BTW, I love your Avatar, It's toatally Shibby! (Awesome)

Thanks for the comment and antcipation

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Very interesting story! Please keep going! 8D

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Cassidy, I'll try and write and post it tonight, if not, I'll post it very soon!!! (The most likely cause will be that I'm backed up with Homework!!!)

Oh BTW, Cassidy Coyote, I've read some of your story ideas on FanFiction.net (On your account!) Ithink I PM'd you, I'm not sure, But they look good, especially "Girls Night Out" and "A Valentine Memory" Please write them soon!!!

Thanks for the support guys!

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

*shakes memory*

..... Yes, you did! 8D

Thank you very much for that! I believe that Valentine Memory will probably be my next story after Time Race. *snugs*

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Awesome!

Alex Bunny · Anthros

PurpleGirly wrote:

Thanks Alex, I'll write it soon, maybe even tonight, dunno

BTW, I love your Avatar, It's toatally Shibby! (Awesome)

Thanks for the comment and antcipation

Ur welcome

Thz i luv urs too

Alex Bunny · Anthros

Cassidy i have and an account on ff.net called Lady Snowstorm and i also read ur story ideas i luved them all episelly Space Jam 2

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

I have finally written the next chapter. Self five for the big doug *Gives self a high five*
Sorry to anyone who was waiting for the chapter!

I've started to write the next chapter, I have this feeling this is going to be a long story!!!

Anways, now that my rant is over, I present to you...

Chapter 4

Evening fell over Acmetropolis, The sky grew darker and lights turned on. The nightlife scene began. The four remaining Loonatics were busy watching rented movies, passing the occasional comments abut how their fellow team-mate’s date was going.

Meanwhile, Ace and Lexi were sitting in a small booth in a French restaurant called ‘Le Petite Fromage’ (I know it means The Little Cheese, but it’s all I can think of!)

“So Ace, what made you ask me out all of a sudden?” Lexi enquired

“Well, um...to be honest.” Ace started, moving closer to Lexi. He placed his hand on hers.

“I’ve always liked you. I’m always trying to make sure you’re okay, cause I would never want anything to happen to you.”
He started to lean in as he said the last of his sentence. Placing his free hand around her waist.

They both leant in and their eyes began to shut.

“Excuse me, oh um, I’m terribly sorry...” The waiter stuttered as he realised what they were about to do. “Would you like to order?”

“Yeah sure” Ace replied. He looked at Lexi disappointedly, before turning his attention to the waiter.

After placing their orders, the two bunnies stared at each other. The mood had been shattered when the waiter came. They smiled at each other nervously, deciding almost simultaneously in their heads that they would have to wait for a more intimate moment to continue with their first kiss.

After all, they wanted it to be special.

------------------

The two spent the evening talking about their past, and sharing their experiences of how they developed their crush over one-another.
As well as sharing their stories where they felt they had humiliated themselves in front of each other.

“Yeah, I got kinda embarrassed when you pulled me from that Tornado that Weathervane created, and I landed on my butt and rolled over.”

“Sorry about that, trust me; I thought you were gonna brain-blast my furry white tail for not catching you!” Ace snorted.

Lexi chuckled. “I wouldn’t do that...to you...I would to Duck but, you meant well and that’s all that matters.”

---------------

Whilst the two were talking and laughing together happily, they had no idea that they were being watched. The figure followed them as they got up to look out over Acmetropolis bay from the Restaurant’s balcony.

“Thanks for dinner Ace.” Lexi smiled. “It was really great.”

“I know, it beats the time we have eating with the guys.”

“Slam and Duck?”

“Their eating habits and constant bickering, never cease to astound me.” Ace joked
“And of course, it disgusts me!” He finished, looking down at Lexi, whose head had managed to find resting spot of his shoulder.

Lexi just happened to glance back over her shoulder and notice ‘their stalker’ walking towards them. She gasped when she recognised him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

'Gasp' I shall update soon I promise! :)

Thanks for the Replies and Help everyone!

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 15:58, 2008-09-13

Alex Bunny · Anthros

nice i can't wait for the next one

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks!

I've just finished writing it, But I think I'll post it tommorrow, unless someone actually starts begging! LOL

I'm gonna start writing another ne from a dream I keep having, so I'll start writing that now too befroe I forget it!!!

IceGirl2772 · Loonatic

PurpleGirly wrote:

Thanks!

I've just finished writing it, But I think I'll post it tommorrow, unless someone actually starts begging! LOL

I'm gonna start writing another ne from a dream I keep having, so I'll start writing that now too befroe I forget it!!!

I'm begging you! UPDATE!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

I'll try!!!

I've finishedhalf of it, so I'll type the rest up and try to post it before monday (England time!)

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

*GASPS*

*passes out*

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Er, You OK Cassidy?!

I'll just let you lie there on the ground and Post the next chapter. Cause I'm so evil Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (Evil Laugh, it's my thing!)

Anyways here is chapter 5? Yeah, I think thats right!

(This is still the original flashback!)

“Le Pew!” Lexi stammered.

“You speak French?” Ace asked, oblivious as to the cause of her alarm.

“...Among many other languages. * But look.” She muttered quietly.

*After, or possibly before I’ve finished this story I may create more, The language reference is from a dream I keep having that I may turn into a story, in fact I should start writing it! J

This time Ace turned round and noticed Pierre Le Pew standing behind them.

He was surprised that he couldn’t identify him by his foul smell earlier.

“Ahh, so ze two love birds decided to, how you say, ‘hook up.’” He said raising his eyebrows and winking at Lexi.

“So” Ace began slyly, “How did you bust out of the pokey...Friends, Bail, some insanely dumb woman who actually finds you attractive?”

Pierre chuckled at this remark. “No, no, no monsier, you see...After you and ze rest of ze team apprehended me and stopped my, how you say...”

“Er, Illegal fights which caused innocent people, including our friend Slam to fight to the death!” Ace interrupted coldly.

“Crude, but...tell it how you wish, anyway, when ze aliens and other beings were transported back to zeir country or planet of origin, you inadvertedly eliminated your only witnesses. Consequently, ze lack of evidence represented no reason for me to be...how you say...incarcerated.” Pierre continued smugly.

“...So” Pierre started, eyeing Lexi’s body. “How did you manage to slip away from me so easily?” He said enticingly.

He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him.

“Get away from me!” Lexi screamed as she tried to get away from him, but to no avail.

“Let go of her Le Pew.” Ace commanded sternly.

“Oh, Monsier, you wish to have her?” Pierre asked slyly.
He was fully ware of what he was going to do, he regretted it deeply, but knew well enough that it was the only way he could escape without injury.

“...Zen maybe you should try to take better care of her!” Pierre swiftly picked Lexi up and tossed her over the edge of the Balcony.

“Lexi! Ace screamed as he ran to the edge and grabbed her wrist.

Pierre used this moment to get away; the last person he would want to be confronted with was Ace, especially when he was seething after the near death of his team-mate, Friend and Date.

“My god Lexi!” Ace exclaimed relieved as he pulled Lexi over the edge of the balcony and into his embrace.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Fine” Lexi replied trying to catch her breath.

“I could’ve lost you. “ Ace stared into her eyes. He leaned in and closed his eyes. Lexi returned the gesture and the two locked lips for the very first time.

Neither of the two had any idea how long they stood there sharing their fist kiss, but when they finally did part they could only smile, and stare at each other thoughtfully.

“Wow!” Ace, finally broke the silence.

“Yeah” Was all Lexi said as she caught her breath.

“We should probably get goin’, Ace said as he glanced down at his watch.

“What time is it?” Lexi asked simply.

“9:57” A facetious smile suddenly spread itself along his lips.

“Well, the night’s still young, why don’t we take a walk along the beach now that Mr. Personality had gone.”

“I wonder where he went.” Lexi pondered before staring up at Ace. “But, yeah...your right, we should.”

The two left the restaurant, clasping hands as they walked down to the beach.

After a considerably warm day, Heat still rose from the sand and sea making the area delightfully sultry.

The Bunnies walked along the beach, rarely even talking but both new they were happy.

Eventually they had walked so far along the sea front, that they could see their Head quarters. They lay down in the sand and stared up at the stars, with nothing but the faint sound of the calm see and the soft padded footsteps of other couples, to be heard.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, I've got writer's bloack. I'll write more later!

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 07:08, 2008-09-14

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

Can't wait for more! ^_^

Alex Bunny · Anthros

ohhhh i like i like

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Guys!

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

Welcome

IceGirl2772 · Loonatic

That was so cool. I'm thinking about leaving LUO. I'll let you know my decition soon.

kaejae · LUO's Next Top Poser

IceGirl2772 wrote:
I'm thinking about leaving LUO. I'll let you know my decition soon.

Please don't do this in other members' fanfic/fanart topics. It's completely irrelevant and completely takes attention from the work the member is trying to showcase, turning it into one of those: "OMG! PLZ DONT LEAVE!" topics. It's not fair to the original poster.

Anymore of this and I'm afraid that I'll have to delete the posts. Just to warn you.

~KJ

-- Edited by kaejae at 02:07, 2008-09-15

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Ok, here’s chapter...I lost count, I should really know what chapter I’m up to, Oh well, Here’s X chapter (X being the algebraic term for an unknown number)

X chapter

An hour passed and the two rabbits were still lying on the beach looking up at the stars, Ace had his arm around Lexi as the two lay there silently, smiling.

“Beautiful night isn’t.” Lexi said, finally breaking the silence. Startled by the sudden comment, Ace sat up, resting his forearm on his knee that was raised; he looked down at Lexi, who was still lying on the sand.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Ace smiled as he said this. He put one of his arms behind her back, and the other under her legs, picking her up, Bridal style. He began to walk along the beach as he started for their HQ.

Occasionally he glanced down at Lexi and smiled. She smiled and rolled her eyes. She never liked being carried, it gave her a feeling of helplessness, as you can’t control where you’re being taken and it can be difficult to leave someone’s grasp. She was too used to that, when her brothers would pick her up and hold her next to large spiders they found around the house, while she would kick and cry for them to let go of her.

Ace however, she never minded with him, only, the only other occasions that he ever carried her, was if she was knocked out, or injured during a mission, but that rarely happened.

Although she wasn’t fond of being carried, having Ace’s strong arms supporting her, the scent of his colone and the warmth of his body against hers made her feel carefree and safe.

-----------------

Outside the door of Head quarters, Ace finally set Lexi down. Her legs felt like jelly as she stood up and she stumbled a bit until Ace put his arm round her shoulders to stop her from falling.

Once again they kissed, before walking into the elevator and making there way up to the main room of their Head Quarters.

The rest of the team were still half way through yet another rented movie, but they turned their attention to the two bunnies as they walked happily into the room.

“Soooooooooooooo how was the date?” Duck asked raising his eyebrows.

“It was...really, really good.” Lexi answered happily. She kissed Ace on the lips.

“I might go to bed, Night guys.” Lexi said as she walked out of the room. Though, Lexi had a slight alluring look in her eyes as she stared briefly at Ace.

The guys smirked at Ace who was smiling calmly.

The rest of the team soon resumed their film whilst Ace sat down on a bean bag and started to contemplate in his head, why Lexi looked at him like that.

After no luck, Ace continued to watch the film with the others. Once it had finished, the guys disbanded to their individual rooms for the night, although instead of his room, Tech walked to his lab.

Ace decided that he wanted to go and talk to Lexi so he walked to her door, and politely knocked on her door.

He could hear music coming from inside her room; he knew she liked to read before bed, and that she played music to help her relax.

After waiting for a while Ace knocked again. There was still no reply. Ace started to worry, with her sensitive hearing Lexi would easily be able to hear him knocking, even with her music playing.

When their rooms were designed, Tech had installed locks on each of their rooms for privacy, but in the event that a team-mate was locked in, or the others were worried about a certain team-mate, there was an access code to get into the rooms from the outside.

Only Ace and Tech had memorised the access codes for everyone’s rooms Ace, because he was the leader and was in charge of the team and their safety, and Tech because he built and input the access codes.

Although Ace was doing this for a safety purpose, he couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable with just barging in.

He and the other male members of the team had decided between them that they would only go into Lexi’s room like that if they had a definite feeling she was in trouble, being that, she was the only girl in the team, and none of them like the thought of being brain blasted, or being kicked where it hurts, for going into her room...especially if she was getting dressed.

Ace wasn’t entirely sure whether this was a time where he should be using the access code or not, and he winced at the thought of her getting angry at him for coming in.

With a sigh, Ace pressed the enter button after punching in the keys and the door opened.

Ace walked in, not sure what to expect. Her room was clean and her shelves had numerous books reste on them.

As he walked in, Ace noticed a wall filled with photographs and framed certificates from when Lexi took part in the annual gymnastics competitions, held every year at the Acmetropolis Gymnasium. There was also a desk that stretched across the width of the wall that had numerous trophies of different sizes arranged along it. Ace noticed a picture of two female rabbit Anthros standing beside Lexi after she had won a competition, each of them smiling, with the two older figures standing with their closest hand on Lexi’s shoulders.

“That’s my mum and my Grandma....If you’re interested.”

Ace turned round to see Lexi standing behind him in her pyjamas, holding her uniform, neatly folded in her arms. To his surprise, Lexi didn’t look angry, but instead had an intrigued smile on her face as she gazed up at him.

Regaining his composure Ace looked down at Lexi and voiced his thoughts. “Where were you? I knocked and you didn’t answer, I got kinda worried.”

“Hmph, That explains why you’re here I guess, saves me asking. “Lexi said.

She walked over to a draw and put her uniform in it.

“Well...” Ace asked following her “Where were you?”

“Bathroom, I was changing.” Lexi answered she pointed at her pyjama top and smiled at him.

“You get dressed in your bathroom?” Ace asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well...yeah, its fine for you guys, you’re all male, so if someone came into your room while you were changing it’d be fine. Whereas if you guys came into mine while I was getting dressed...” Lexi smirked. “...You’d probably be very sore. Lucky I wasn’t in here when you decided to drop in huh.”

“Not really” Ace started “...Cause I wouldn’t have had to come in if you had answered me when I knocked. Trust me...” Ace said putting his hands up to assure her “The guys and I would only come into your room if we really needed to.”

“...Like when?” Lexi Asked

“...Like...If we thought you were in trouble.” Ace replied

“What, Like if I couldn’t get my bra off or something?” Lexi asked playfully. She knew what Ace meant, but hearing an answer to this was bound to be amusing.

“Well, yeah I guess getting a guy to do that would help.” Ace said, smirking.

Lexi playfully slapped Ace on the arm, only to have him pull her into his embrace while he kissed her deeply.

This kiss wasn’t like any of their previous ones, it was more passionate. They didn’t separate and they somehow found their way to Lexi’s hammock by the time they parted to breathe.

The night didn’t stop there as the two of them became physically intimate.

End of Flashback

Wow, I finally finished the Flashback!

Now I just have to work on everything else, great.

I, once again. Apologise in advance in case you don’t see an update in a while, but I keep getting swamped with homework as, for some reason the teachers think that now that were all back at school they can give us homework at the same time so we end up with like 17 pieces to do each week!!!

But, I’m sure the homework amount will decrease in due course and I might be able to resume with my social life.

Anyway, I’ll let you get back to yours now!

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 13:03, 2008-09-21

Alex Bunny · Anthros

i like it i like it

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks Alex!

Quick reply, I only just posted it!

Siamese712 · I blamed it on the dog...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeh! Next chapter! Please?

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

I'll Try!

Thanks for the Comments everyone

IceGirl2772 · Loonatic

2 words: YOU ROCK! Another 2 words: PLEASE UPDATE! Sorry. I'm sick at the moment and it's driving me crazy.

-- Edited by IceGirl2772 at 02:27, 2008-09-22

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Awwwwwwwww thanks!

I'll try and write the next chapter soon!

Get well soon!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Hi everyone!

Thanks for the comments and helpful suggestions!

I promise to update soon, but schools getting in the way of my story writing time, Plus I've got MAJOR writer's block and I keep putting it off!

I'll think of something soon and write it up, when I find time to of course!

Once again, Thanks guys!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

I finally updated!

OK I know this chapter is probably amazingly bad, but I’ve kinda had LOOOOOOOOOOOOADS of homework and I’ve had not much time to get writing!
So, Please don’t think any less of me that this chapter is bad so, Sorry in advance.

Anyway, Onwards with the story!

------------------

End of Flashback
“Well...Truthfully the night was good while it lasted.” Ace sighed; he put on a pitiful smile.

“It was fun, the dinner, talking, the walk along the beach...and, what happened that night.” Lexi trailed off as she said the last part. “...to be honest, I don’t regret a thing!” She smiled as she hugged Ace tighter.

Ace smiled as he put his arms round Lexi. “Yeah, the days after were great too.”

Flashback

Ace woke up to a sun-kissed room. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the blinding light that met his eyes, after a few moments he could clearly see around Lexi’s room. It looked different from the dimly lit room he had seen briefly the night before, now the streams of sunlight could illuminate the room so differently and Ace could see the clothes from their previous outing strewn across the floor.

He smiled as he remembered and turned to his right to see the digital clock on the bedside cabinet.

5:32.

Ace sighed, and this time, turned the opposite direction to let his gaze rest upon the figure sleeping close against his shoulder.

Ace smiled when she snuggled closer to him. Her ruffled hair fell delicately over her face as she slept peacefully next to him.

This only made Ace even more hesitant to wake her, but thought it would be best to do so before the others woke up.

Ace leant up on his arm and stared down at Lexi as he gently stroked her. She opened her eyes and looked up at Ace who was smiling down at her.

“Morning.” Ace said as he bent down to kiss her.

Lexi smiled and closed her eyes, letting him continue. She smiled as he got back up and stared down at her.

“I think we should probably get up.” Ace suggested glumly.

“Good idea.” Lexi replied.

She briefly looked under the covers and remembered what she was wearing. Nothing. “

Um...Ace, could you pass me something to wear?” She asked.

Ace blushed. He had already put on his boxers the night before after Lexi had fallen asleep. He looked around and leant over the side of the hammock. He picked up his shirt that he wore from the previous night, and passed it to her.

After Lexi had put Ace’s shirt on, she stood up next to him. Although they were similar in size, Ace’s shirt easily acted like a short dress on his female companion, reaching half way down her thigh. The sleeves covered half of her hands, and the ruffled collar only just covered her chest area.

Ace couldn’t help but snicker at how small the shirt made her look.

“Hey, stop that!” Lexi joked as she walked towards Ace. “I’m gonna take a shower, I’ll be back in a minute.”

She kissed him on the cheek before taking her uniform and going to the bathroom.

---------------------------

Sorry, I know that chapter really sucked, and was kinda short, but, I thought I should probably update but I keep losing time to write more, so yeah, Sorry for the suckish ending!

Once again, I’ll try and write more soon and update ASAP, Thanks for the reviews everyone!

-- Edited by PurpleGirly at 17:13, 2008-12-30

Alex Bunny · Anthros

i like it i like it

IceGirl2772 · Loonatic

I'm lovin' this story more and more every time you update. By the way, don't worry. Take your time. There's no rush.

-- Edited by IceGirl2772 at 17:05, 2008-10-09

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Thanks!

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Hi everyone!

I'm just a tad closer to completing the next chapter, I'm just not sure where to end it! Plus I've got ALOT of HMWK to do, but I'll try and update ASAP!

Also, I'll try and write the next chapter for 'The little Pink Plus Sign' I really should get writing that!

Anyway, thanks for the support and positive comments!

IceGirl2772 · Loonatic

PurpleGirly wrote:

Hi everyone!

I'm just a tad closer to completing the next chapter, I'm just not sure where to end it! Plus I've got ALOT of HMWK to do, but I'll try and update ASAP!

Also, I'll try and write the next chapter for 'The little Pink Plus Sign' I really should get writing that!

Anyway, thanks for the support and positive comments!

There's no rush. School's a boil on the butt of humanity (pain in the butt) anyway. You're lucky you don't live in Queensland because, here, if you're in year 7, you're still in primary.

Take it easy. You shouldn't overwork yourself. It'll stress you like mad.

PurpleGirly · Out of This World

Yey I finally got the chapter done!

Anyways, I, as always am sorry, if I kept anyone waiting
Homeworks the culprit again!

Anyway, Here it is!
---------------------------------

“So...You OK?” Ace asked after he too had taken a shower.

“Err, yeah. Why?” Lexi walked over to Ace. Both of them were now dressed in their uniforms and were now standing in Lexi’s room.

Ace blushed and took Lexi by the waist and smiled down at her. “Well, with...umm, what we did, I er...Look I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

She chuckled. “Well it’s not like we can take it back now!”

“Well, yeah I know that, but, I just don’t want you to feel...I don’t know, uncomfortable or get worried or....”

“Now hold up one second!” Lexi interrupted him. “What are you talking abou...wait, are you...do you mean, you’re worried that I’m...”

Ace nodded. “Look, Lexi, I just don’t want you to find out and then not tell me or something. I love you and you can tell me anything. I don’t want to be the fault of you getting worked up about something you can’t control.” Ace had a serious tone to his voice that made Lexi look down, she too was now contemplating whether or not she could be carrying something that was merely the fault of their growing relationship.

“Why don’t we get some breakfast?” Ace suggested. Snapping Lexi out of her thoughts and grinning at her contently.

“Okay, Let’s go.” Lexi smiled. She and Ace cautiously checked around the door to make sure none of the others noticed them coming out of the same room.

“All clear.” Lexi stated, she had used her amplified hearing to ensure no-one was coming.

“But of course we both know who is already up!” Ace joked as he and Lexi entered the kitchen to find Tech sitting with a cup of coffee, reading the morning newspaper.

“The two of you are up bright and early, and...oddly at the same time.” Tech slowed down as he said the last of his sentence, not from fatigue but more for his sudden realisation. “So, er...strange how you’re both up at the same time...” Tech said as he rose from his seat and walked over to the two bunnies.

Ace and Lexi exchanged glances, they both new that although Tech was a genius, he wasn’t an expert at relationships. Ace stood he ground whereas Lexi suddenly found the fruit bowl on the table a fascinating object, and while the visual confrontation was going on, decided it would be best to stay quiet.

“Well...” Ace started, he wasn’t sure of what excuse to use.

“Do you guys have any idea how loud you snore!” Lexi diverted Tech’s suspicious gaze over Ace. “I mean, how am I ever going to sleep, super hearing may be great on missions, but getting to sleep, obviously wasn’t part of the deal. “I guess, for his own reason Ace must’ve woken up, I only got up because I couldn’t sleep anymore.” Lexi lied.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Ace wink at her, unbeknown to Tech, she knew what Ace was thinking.

Nice one Lex.
- - - - - - - -

And voila!

Fell free to tell me how amazingly suckish it was as, once again I continue with yet another falshback!

Over and Out!

(Sorry I'm hyper!)

Alex Bunny · Anthros

nice i like and i can't wait for the next chappie

IceGirl2772 · Loonatic

The bit where Lexi complained about the snoring: classic. That got me laughing. Nice job.