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Post Info TOPIC: Emotional Help Thread


Anthros

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RE: Emotional Help Thread
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dOMITUPSYK wrote:

Me too. And I know it was a long post, sorry. ^_^; I just got back from spending the night over there for 2 nights, and my mom gave one of my cats away. DX Just because she was pregnant! And you know what? She wouldn't have been if it weren't for ****heads cats. Both are male, it had to have been one of them because we have no other un-neutered males besides Chichi and Garfield, but they hate everyone, so it wasn't them. As a matter of fact Tiny had a baby, and Crybaby was the daddy. He had to have been, the kitten is solid orange, and the same color as he is. I MISS MAH RATCHET I'm keeping Luna, dammit. >_> Luna was Ratchet's kitten. *sniff* There's a hole... where my heart should be...




Oh, wow.  A hole where your heart should be?  That is pretty intense.  However, I know how you feel about losing a companion...sort of.

One of my non-human companions (a Pembroke Welsh Corgi) was diagnosed with cancer two years ago.  My family instantly tried to get her treated for it.  The treatment seemed to work for a while, but suddenly, she stopped eating.  Completely.  It was so sudden, and we tried to get her to eat.  She had difficulty getting up and down the stairs; someone had to carry her up and down whenever she wanted to go upstairs or downstairs.  Soon, the vet presented us with two options; put her to sleep or wait to see if she ever got better.  Being the stubborn child I was, I pleaded for my parents to not put her to sleep.  I was so ignorant; I thought that she would get better.  I was so stupid...I did not realize how much pain she was in.  She died on September 29, 2006.  On the day of her death, I tried talking to her, begging her to try to get better.  I wished that she could understand me at the time, and it seemed like she did...however, as I was talking to her, I saw how sad she was.  She gave me a look that said, "I'm sorry."  We took her to the vet to give her what would be her last treatment.  We left her with the vet, and I regret not staying with her.  As soon as we got home, we got a phone call; "I'm sorry, but Cozette has passed away."  I cried for weeks, not coming out of my room...except for bathroom breaks, but otherwise, I stayed in my room.  I was depressed for months.  I was too unstable to go to school, and I missed so many days of it.

I do not have a hole where my heart should be; it shattered into millions of tiny shards.  I am still trying to pick up the pieces.



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Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



MagykWire

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I'm sorry to hear that shirako.

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Loonatic

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*cries* I didn't have a choice in that matter- mine broke into a million tiny pieces a long time ago, but if I was going to survive my household, (well, houseHOLE is a more appropriate term), I had to sweep them up and throw them in the trash can. :/

^_^ I love being poetic. Even if it IS tragic-poetic...

Edit: You should know there's 3 new kittens over there. >:| There were four, but one died. DX

-- Edited by dOMITUPSYK at 21:33, 2008-04-19

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Herr A: We didn't put a Christmas tree up, nothin'. We went to the beach. It was wonderful. BUT... I got in water up to my... crotch area, and when that wave hit ALLLLLLLL my business went running towards my intestinal tract...


O HAI THAR

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I'm in ur forum, reviving ur ded threds.

I needs help...'cause I'm an idiot...

I tried to ask a guy out, and ended up going "Ryan willyougoutoutwitmekthxbai" and ran away with a paintbrush in hand.
('cause we were painting, see... Being a techie is fun, you get to build stuff.)

I was trying to figure things out and it's really complicated...so hear me out, and then tell me what to do, kthx?

So I was asking Nut (one of the girl twins I know) if she would hit me hard enough to get amnesia, and she said no. The reason I was asking was because I wanted to forget I ever started liking Ryan, and that might've gotten me out of it. But then I have my semester project due...so we decided not to try and give me anmnesia.
Then I asked Ryan if he would hit me hard enough to give me amnesia, and he said no, why? And I told him I wanted to forget something, and then he thought it was my semester project...
And then later we were painting, and I asked Ryan, how do you ask someone out? And he said just say it to me and shrugged. And then he had to go.
So then Ron asked me to paint something and I dashed off, yelling that I had a crisis, I'll BRB in a sec, and Ron was like "...'kay", and I ran into the shop with a paintbrush in my hand, and Ryan was like "Hi...are you okay?" and I was like panicking because I had no clue whether or not I should ask him out or not, and then someone in my head said:
"JESSICA. THOSE WORDS HAD BETTER GTFO OF YOUR MOUTH OR THEY'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY."
So I said:
"Ryancouldyawantowouldyougoutwitmekthx."
I actually said kthx. I phail.
And then he didn't hear me right (heck, I didn't hear myself right), so he asked me to repeat it, and I did (except that you could actually hear me), and I think he might have thought that I was just saying it to test my ability to say it, because he said "If you said what I thought you said, it doesn't change a thing" and we said bye and he walked away.

So halpplz.

-- Edited by the_oddity at 21:14, 2008-04-25

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MagykWire

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I'd try talking to him in private, just try to be calm and rational.

-- Edited by techfan979 at 21:23, 2008-04-25

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Anthros

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Actually, before trying to talk to him in private, it might be a good idea to practice what you want to say.  No time for the slip of the tongue...but if you do slip up a bit, that is fine.  I agree with what Techfan979 said, and remember to take deep breaths before talking to Ryan.  Remember to breathe.  I have seen females asking males if they wanted to go out with them (and vice-versa), and the asking gender sometimes forgets to breathe.

Anyway, good luck!  Everything should work out fine.


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Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



Loonatic

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I never asked anybody out so... they always asked me.

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Gone

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This will probably sound EXTREMELY odd, but in my own experience, girls generally have better luck snagging guys if they DO seem nervous. Maybe this is because even a guy could see that you really like him if you're that worried about asking him. It flatters him, a bit.

Of course, it's not cool to just have a total seizure on him and pass out, or something. But showing a little nervousness is not a bad thing. Just that in itself might make you a bit calmer.

Whenever I try to ask a guy I try to spin it as if its not a big deal, or something like that. For example, when I asked out my 3rd BF, I said, "Hey, would you want to go out with me? If not, then that's cool, we can just frolic nude through fields of clover, and a have a nice cup of tea aferward." Yeah, I'm pretty awkward, but I admit, wording it like that put me at ease for some reason. I just kind of felt that saying something playful like that takes the pressure off the guy a little more, which in turn takes the pressure off of you. I think part of the reason that girls get so nervous in asking guys out is that they don't want to impose too much on the guy and in turn make them dislike the asker. Saying something stupid like that cuts down on the imposing factor a bit.

Hope that helps, if at all!




-- Edited by Dragon Wing at 22:39, 2008-04-25

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Anthros

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Dragon Wing wrote:

This will probably sound EXTREMELY odd, but in my own experience, girls generally have better luck snagging guys if they DO seem nervous. Maybe this is because even a guy could see that you really like him if you're that worried about asking him. It flatters him, a bit.



The nervousness could be a fragment as to why females have a better chance of winning over males.  I believe that females have a certain charm about them...an aura, if you will...that, if used properly, can "snag" a male successfully.  I am unsure if that charm factor can be used properly in males the same way females use it.  Of course, this is a mere theory, and should probably be ignored.



__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



O HAI THAR

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Yay halp. Thx gais.

Only problem: I barely ever see him...like...ever.
-phails-

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Anthros

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Well, at least that gives you time to practice your lines.  I hope that things work out for you.  Also, let us know when you reel him in.



__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



Gone

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I suppose this is an emotional problem per se, but its still kinda a problem!

So I'm a senior in high school. This means prom is coming up!

I initially didn't want to go to prom this year, but all the sudden I not only get invited to join a group of friends going to the prom in a limo, but I also have a date.

And now it'd be kinda crappy if I don't, as that's kind of a huge slap in the face to my date and the people who wanted me to go with them as a group. And its important to remember that as high school ends, it's likely I'll never see these people again as they go their own separate ways. So I'd like to have one last good night of frivolity with them before I say goodbye forever.

But I cannot convince my parents to let me go. They insist that it would cost a fortune, with the tickets and renting a dress and all. First of all:

1.) I already have the ticket. I had to pay senior fees this year, and the prom tickets just come with them.

2.) I don't need to rent a dress. I have one that'll work perfectly well.

The only monetary cost of this will be like for extra food and maybe a limo fee, but I have enough of my own cash to take care of that.

So this will be of no monetary cost to them at all, so there's really no problem.

Yet they insist it WILL be a problem!

What can I do D:

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Anthros

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Dragon Wing wrote:

I suppose this is an emotional problem per se, but its still kinda a problem!

So I'm a senior in high school. This means prom is coming up!

I initially didn't want to go to prom this year, but all the sudden I not only get invited to join a group of friends going to the prom in a limo, but I also have a date.

And now it'd be kinda crappy if I don't, as that's kind of a huge slap in the face to my date and the people who wanted me to go with them as a group. And its important to remember that as high school ends, it's likely I'll never see these people again as they go their own separate ways. So I'd like to have one last good night of frivolity with them before I say goodbye forever.

But I cannot convince my parents to let me go. They insist that it would cost a fortune, with the tickets and renting a dress and all. First of all:

1.) I already have the ticket. I had to pay senior fees this year, and the prom tickets just come with them.

2.) I don't need to rent a dress. I have one that'll work perfectly well.

The only monetary cost of this will be like for extra food and maybe a limo fee, but I have enough of my own cash to take care of that.

So this will be of no monetary cost to them at all, so there's really no problem.

Yet they insist it WILL be a problem!

What can I do D:




Did you explain to your parents that this will be your final encounter with your friends in Highschool?  Also, did you ask them why they are insisting that it will be a problem?  Their reason(s) might not be very valid...but it really depends, I think.  Let them know that you will most likely never see your friends (or date) ever again in the future...and how you feel about seeing them one last time.

Or, you could reverse the situation and ask them if their parents would let them go to their prom, and that if they would, that it would be unfair.

Everyone deserves to have one last fun time at a prom.  Good luck, and I hope that I helped.



__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



MagykWire

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Explain to them what you explained to us, other than running off to the prom anyway. I don't know what to do.

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Gone

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Shirako wrote:

 

Did you explain to your parents that this will be your final encounter with your friends in Highschool? Also, did you ask them why they are insisting that it will be a problem? Their reason(s) might not be very valid...but it really depends, I think. Let them know that you will most likely never see your friends (or date) ever again in the future...and how you feel about seeing them one last time.

 


You're right. I didn't really emphasize that this will really be the last time I see them, and I probably should. It might change their mindset on this whole thing. Thanks!

 



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Anthros

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I am glad that I helped you.  I hope that your parents allow you to attend the prom.  It would be really unfair if they said "no".  Good luck!  Let us know how it turns out.



__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



O HAI THAR

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I need a hug plz. D:

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Anthros

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Aww.  Why do you need a hug?  What happened?

...

I normally never do this, but...

[*Hug*]



__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



O HAI THAR

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I got shot down...again...by the same guy...

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Anthros

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Aww.  I think you deserve more than just a hug for that.

...

"I think someone needs a tickle~!"


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Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



O HAI THAR

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NOOOOOOOO NOT THE TICKLE -phears the tickle- xD

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Anthros

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I made you laugh!  ...I think.  So you fear the tickle, eh?

...

[*Tickle*]


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Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



Loonatic

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*stares awkwardly* Does someone still needz a hug? weirdface



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Anthros

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I have it covered.  All the_Oddity needed was a good tickle!  ...I think.

__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



O HAI THAR

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AHHHH TICKLE

...he was ticklish...

I phear the tickle, no moar plz. xD

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Gone

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I'm sorry if this sounds really callous and rather cold, but in the long run they're the best words I have.


You're 14. You will see better days.

-- Edited by Dragon Wing at 18:16, 2008-05-04

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Loonatic

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*hug* *tickle*

I hated my prom. I didn't want to go, but freakin' Jewell (stalker girl) wanted to go, and she cried, so freakin' me bought her a ticket, and then she freakin' leaves in the middle of it to go with her boyfriend (who was 26, BTW. she was 15). It was so horrible, I was nearly in tears (ME!) by the time I called my mom to come pick me up.

Last time I do THAT for anyone. *is lying through the skin of her teeth*

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Herr A: We didn't put a Christmas tree up, nothin'. We went to the beach. It was wonderful. BUT... I got in water up to my... crotch area, and when that wave hit ALLLLLLLL my business went running towards my intestinal tract...


Anthros

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Wow.  I was actually going to consider going to a prom when there is one in a school that I attend when I get a bit older...but now I am unsure.  What happens at a prom?  Dance?  DJ?  Games?  Hanging out with friends?

...

...Is it usually fun?


__________________

Favourite Conversation:

"Hey, Mr. Bump.  Thought I'd drop by for a visit."
"Uh, hello, Miss Whoops."
"Sorry to hear about your accident."
"Oh, well.  That'll teach me to wrestle elephants."
"Hey, a remote control!  Ooh, how about we watch some rollerderby?"
"Uh, uh, no, Miss Whoops, that's not for the T.V.!  Ow!  Bed!  Crunching!  Oh!"
"These remotes are so unreliable..."



O HAI THAR

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I feel better now :D

Well, not really. -emoemoemo- But better than before.

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Your local cat

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Shirako wrote:

Wow.  I was actually going to consider going to a prom when there is one in a school that I attend when I get a bit older...but now I am unsure.  What happens at a prom?  Dance?  DJ?  Games?  Hanging out with friends?

...

...Is it usually fun?



Um... I haven't really gone to a prom. But I know that there's usually music and dancing. Not sure about games, but it's a great way to hang out with friends yes.



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Loonatic

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Well, I suppose it depends, but at Broome's prom, we:

Danced (main part of a prom X3)
Ate (ours was just stuff put out and we could eat whenever we wanted [like animals at a food dish, makes you wonder... XD])
Hung out with friends
Announced prom king and queen (SCREW THEM ALL ITS A WASTE OF TIME BEING POPULAR DOESN'T FREAKIN MATTER IN THE LONG RUN!!!!! *arghargharghargh* [I'll be alright... one day...])

There was:
Music (and thus a DJ)
Food (already explained)

And that was it for ours, but we're a Section 8 school (whether they want to admit it or not, it's mostly section 8 kids that go there, it may as well be), so we were poor. >_> Yet we were SOMEHOW able to hold it at the Marriot... just like they SOMEHOW had the funds to build an AUDITORIUM on the school, but the AC system was over 30 years old [like the school...])

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Herr A: We didn't put a Christmas tree up, nothin'. We went to the beach. It was wonderful. BUT... I got in water up to my... crotch area, and when that wave hit ALLLLLLLL my business went running towards my intestinal tract...


Beast

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Um Well my friends Ex tim was lying and stuff and then he made her cry,um i can't
stand to see my friends cry so i sorta ran,and now i dont know wether she will be
mad at me tommorow...!HELP!

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LeiaRules wrote:

Um Well my friends Ex tim was lying and stuff and then he made her cry,um i can't
stand to see my friends cry so i sorta ran,and now i dont know wether she will be
mad at me tommorow...!HELP!



Why would she be mad at you if you ran after her to calm her down? You did a good thing so I shouldn't think that she's gonna be mad at you. In fact, I think she'll be grateful that someone at least has come to her moment of need.



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Beast

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No I mean well jessica was comforting her i ran up the stairs AWAY from them.....cause
i did not know what to do hehe.......

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-It's Cool To be a Duckie-
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-Vitani the lioness with an additude we can all trust!
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-Terra,she's way cool!

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Beastboy, you were the best friend I ever had.”

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Your local cat

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LeiaRules wrote:

No I mean well jessica was comforting her i ran up the stairs AWAY from them.....cause
i did not know what to do hehe.......



I have that problem too. I never seem to know how to approach people when they're upset because both of us are afraid of doing or saying anything that could trigger them to become more distressed than they are already. Indeed you do care for your friends, therefore you don't want to upset them. It's perfectly understandable.



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O HAI THAR

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So like I like this guy who likes this girl who likes this other guy...

We almost made a love square, but thankfully the second guy doesn't like me.
...I think.

SO HALP PLZ?

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O HAI THAR

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Double posting...I'm sorrrrryyyyyyy... ;_;

So I had a crush on a guy for a year and a half, turns out he's gay.

So I went out with a different guy, he was a total meanie head.

So I log onto Gmail last night, and it turns out my ex is gay for the guy I had a crush on before.

So my life's been turned into a drama like the Chinese ones I watch on TV.

Isn't irony fun.

So...can I has a hug?

-- Edited by the_oddity at 20:46, 2008-05-22

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Gone

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That is like hilarious and tragic at the same time. But probably just stressful for you! =(

+HUUGGGGG+

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MagykWire

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the_oddity wrote:

Double posting...I'm sorrrrryyyyyyy... ;_;

So I had a crush on a guy for a year and a half, turns out he's gay.

So I went out with a different guy, he was a total meanie head.

So I log onto Gmail last night, and it turns out my ex is gay for the guy I had a crush on before.

So my life's been turned into a drama like the Chinese ones I watch on TV.

Isn't irony fun.

So...can I has a hug?

-- Edited by the_oddity at 20:46, 2008-05-22



Oh well, don't worry. About 90% of all males have a prefrence for the opposite sex, your luck should turn around.

Also, considering your age, I'm guessing their 14-16 years old. They might change.

 



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O HAI THAR

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It is hilarious and tragic at the same time! And stressful too! D8 -hugggggggg-

My luck won't ever turn around...

luck: -turns around-

HELLO YOU'RE FINALLY FACING ME

luck: -sticks tongue out-

D:

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MagykWire

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You'll find a hetero/bi guy, don't worry.

But if you constantly keep running into homos, you could always call guiness.

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Gone

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I'm just f*ck-all depressed right now.

I've been mulling over a few aspects of my life so far, something I don't really do that much. And I realized that there's something really lacking, that will continue to affect me as the years go on.

I wasted most of my teenage years just being depressed and feeling sorry for myself all the time, at one point indulging heavily in alcohol and even pot. People may have tried to make connections with me, tried to befriend me, but intentionally or not I pushed them all away. F*cking moron. But finally, the two most resilient friends of mine finally gave me a cold hard slap in the face. They made me realized what I was doing was stupid for someone of my intelligence. And I stopped.

Those two were probably the only mutual best friends I ever made. One of them has now moved away to God knows where, and the other is... deceased.

I suppose I'm better off socially now then I was then. I'm completely sober, I actually talk to people, socialize, all that good stuff. But every now and then I realize that every single person I talk to and associate with has someone they'd rather be with.

I've come to terms with this fact before. But you know what, sometimes it just really sucks.

And the whole damn thing is just a huge Catch-22. Whenever I -do- start to make a close connection with someone, I have a tendency to back off. I don't eve mean to, but I do. And then they lose interest and go somewhere else. The thing is, I've lost someone really, really close to me before. And I don't want to go through something like that ever again. So I become somewhat of an extroverted recluse. But when I do that, I never make any intimate connections with people - something I really, really want. I just feel something's missing without one, and its exactly what's making me so bummed out right now.

But I almost can't help myself at this point. I just can't make myself personal enough with others.

It's just a huge f*cking circle I want to go away. But I don't know how to make it go away. And all I know is that it's driving me crazy.


Sorry, I had to vent somewhere.





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Your local cat

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That's okay Angela. I too feel that there is something missing in my life as well. The problem is I don't know what. I think I feel similar to you (only I didn't take drugs and alcohol as such). I have friends and people I can talk to. But at the same time, I feel invisible cos I'm the listener most of the time. And whenever I try to speak an opinion out, no-one appears to be listening. But then it's one of those things where you say "you don't know what great things you've had in life until they're gone". I guess everyone hates feeling empty.

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MagykWire

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Dragon Wing wrote:

I'm just f*ck-all depressed right now.

I've been mulling over a few aspects of my life so far, something I don't really do that much. And I realized that there's something really lacking, that will continue to affect me as the years go on.

I wasted most of my teenage years just being depressed and feeling sorry for myself all the time, at one point indulging heavily in alcohol and even pot. People may have tried to make connections with me, tried to befriend me, but intentionally or not I pushed them all away. F*cking moron. But finally, the two most resilient friends of mine finally gave me a cold hard slap in the face. They made me realized what I was doing was stupid for someone of my intelligence. And I stopped.

Those two were probably the only mutual best friends I ever made. One of them has now moved away to God knows where, and the other is... deceased.

I suppose I'm better off socially now then I was then. I'm completely sober, I actually talk to people, socialize, all that good stuff. But every now and then I realize that every single person I talk to and associate with has someone they'd rather be with.

I've come to terms with this fact before. But you know what, sometimes it just really sucks.

And the whole damn thing is just a huge Catch-22. Whenever I -do- start to make a close connection with someone, I have a tendency to back off. I don't eve mean to, but I do. And then they lose interest and go somewhere else. The thing is, I've lost someone really, really close to me before. And I don't want to go through something like that ever again. So I become somewhat of an extroverted recluse. But when I do that, I never make any intimate connections with people - something I really, really want. I just feel something's missing without one, and its exactly what's making me so bummed out right now.

But I almost can't help myself at this point. I just can't make myself personal enough with others.

It's just a huge f*cking circle I want to go away. But I don't know how to make it go away. And all I know is that it's driving me crazy.


Sorry, I had to vent somewhere.





You know theres no one I prefer talking to more than you, right?

 



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MagykWire

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I originally posted this in the ''Whats your mood thread?'' But realized I'd like to bring it here.


''Mood: Hateful furious

I hate my existence. If only it were a question of just hating life, because that can be ended in the blink of an eye. What happens after you die or commit suicide? Heaven, hell, oblivion? Nobody can say for sure, and man has wondered for all it's exsistance. There is no guaruntee suicide is the end, that death is the end.

I have an obligatory mission in life that is like a grind stone on my mind. It is what depresses me and drags me through life in conflict, but I'd never live for anything else. People would always tell me to do something else, but for me it's either this or death (If just death could only mean oblivion.)

People, doctors, psychologists, and soceity as a whole will tell you depression is a chemical malfunction, or a mental illness, always for the same reasons and scenarios, and that the optimal thing is always to ignore your thoughts and seek professional help. It's just a chemical imbalance, you can't think straight, you need help, is what they would say.

Chemical imbalance or not, I have and can clarify the undeniable logic behind my depression and suicidal feelings, and that there is no other way for me. Not with the values and prefrences I have. And definitely not with the one purpose I have in life, which is the only thing I'd live for. Despite it is the cause of my suffering.

Because of my goals, I am obliged by myself to carry on living my miserable life. Suicide is not an option, because I still have things I need to do yet, and theres no guarantee that's the end. Treatment is not an option, as to fix my life for good, I would have to do something else with it. I refuse to do so. My competence and logic are fully intact, and my depression is not a false or over-driven feeling.

I hate my existance, I wish I was never born, and theres nothing I can do about it.

I'm sorry, but either I vented here, or I threw some furniture out the window. That would just draw unwanted attention.''


I have no idea how anyone could do anything, but I'd be glad to hear any advice.


-- Edited by techfan979 at 06:20, 2008-06-09

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Out of This World

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I honestly don't know whether or not I can help, but this is my attempt.
Honestly I feel the same way sometimes about death. I can't imagine what happens after you die; if you simply cease to exist or you're forced to exist in an empty blackness that occurs after death. So is suicide worth escaping the hell you're living, or is better to be depressed and realize that life might be better than nothing?
I don't know if this is something that might go away quickly; I've had similar feelings like this that went away after a few days. And if it's more serious you may have to turn to medication if worst comes to worst.
If it helps at all, just remember your cause if it's something your passionate about.

So that's my advice. I hope it helps, but I don't know the odds.

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MagykWire

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It's not so much that I'm worried what happens after death. It's more that I'm trapped either way, life or death. But even then, suicide is still not an option for me, because of my cause.

Though some people would say it's irrational, I'm strong enough to go without anykind of medication, neither do I want it. The worst period of depression I've ever gone through was when I went through three full weeks of rock bottom sadness, with a constant irritated feeling to be alive. It was like being in a sufficated room without air, and the exit was death. Thoughts of suicide came every 5 minutes.

I muscled my way through that, until my mood lifted up again to just a bit. I didn't even think my mood would ever come back up again, and I still didn't do it. I'm usually just saddened and generally pessimistic, but every now and then I have a crash like that, and again right now.

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O HAI THAR

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D:

If I could be at your side, I'd give you a hug, but I'm not, so I'll send a hug through the internet instead

-hug-

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MagykWire

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Thanks oddity.

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Gone

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You should already know pretty damn well how I feel about all this.

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