it was a sunny day at the loonatics hq,ace was meditating,duck was waching t.v.,rev was running around the hq,slam was eating,tece was working on his inventions,and lexi well were was lexi oh ya she was out walking...
ace:hey had anyone seen lexi
duck:nope
rev:I -got-her-on-my-gps-
suddenly the door rang....
ace:all get it (ace ansewed the dorr and lexi fainted on him but he caught her)
ace:lexi lexi speak to me
lexi:a.e...ce.ace....help (she then fainted into unconcesnes)
ace:tece set up the medic room NOW!
tece:sure thing chife(and ace brought lexi into the room and layed her on the bed)
ace:oh lexi what happened?
end of chappy 1 (please continu)
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-I'm a techie,and proud of it-
When Every life meet's another life, Something will be born-Qouted by the Shinno Champion Cynthia
Sweet story K-dog you what my real name is kaira(key-ra) oh not to be a crtic or anything but you spelt tech's name incorrectly it's spelt T-E-C-H it's an h not a e okey but the story rules keep on writing girl
What was Duck doing running around the HQ I wonder? The spellings could do with a bit of improvement but still. Nice start there. Hope to see the second chapter up really soon.
Hmmm... sounds familiar to that add on story that I started. But wouldn't Ace be a bit more suprised that Lexi had a telepathic power instead of just going "Lexi has telepathic powers. Oh well," and walk out of the room as though nothing happened?
And I was a bit confused that the actions for the characters are on the same line as the character speaking. I think you need to make the story clear on which parts are the characters speaking and which parts are the actions for each character. Try using italics or bold for one thing and normal text for the other, whether it's speaking or the instructions.
I just think the pacing wasn't as good as the first chapter. I think that this chapter was a bit rushed.
i dont get the story ok here it goes noaffensce but this is kindof a weird story (that does not mean im not a acexi shipper (did you nodis that when you say acexi it sounds like sexy?))
"Is it just me or is she kinda cute when she's angery",-Hunter(spyro year of the dragon). -Yes I have been converted into a Duckie,GO DUCK AND HIS GREATNESS xD!
-When everylife meet's another life,Something shall be born- quoted by Cynthia The Shinno Elite 4 Champion.
i dont get the story ok here it goes noaffensce but this is kindof a weird story (that does not mean im not a acexi shipper (did you nodis that when you say acexi it sounds like sexy?))
You mean 'Hey, sexy' right?
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Can't think of anything so, don't blame me for being lazy.
keep on writing girl
What was Duck doing running around the HQ I wonder? The spellings could do with a bit of improvement but still. Nice start there. Hope to see the second chapter up really soon.
Hmmm... sounds familiar to that add on story that I started. But wouldn't Ace be a bit more suprised that Lexi had a telepathic power instead of just going "Lexi has telepathic powers. Oh well," and walk out of the room as though nothing happened? 
