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Rye · Anthros

General Fiction

Black Oracle · Black Hole Survivor

It is good how you turn something ordinary and seemingly insignificant into something of focus in "Ode to The Ceiling". I like how the poem ends with "As an unrecognised symbol of God", linking ceilings to something divine and heavenly, which is a connection that most people don't normally make with ceilings, so that's a fresh and original idea! I think if you just try to bear in mind the policy of "show, don't tell" in all your poetic writings, that'll make your poetry more effective on readers. Use more concrete metaphors to represent abstract or even other concrete concepts!

I'll look at your other works later!

-- Edited by Black Oracle at 23:08, 2007-03-17

Rye · Anthros

Black Oracle wrote:

It is good how you turn something ordinary and seemingly insignificant into something of focus in "Ode to The Ceiling". I like how the poem ends with "As an unrecognised symbol of God", linking ceilings to something divine and heavenly, which is a connection that most people don't normally make with ceilings, so that's a fresh and original idea! I think if you just try to bear in mind the policy of "show, don't tell" in all your poetic writings, that'll make your poetry more effective on readers. Use more concrete metaphors to represent abstract or even other concrete concepts!

I'll look at your other works later!

-- Edited by Black Oracle at 23:08, 2007-03-17

Thank you. ^ ^;
And I'll definitely keep your advice in mind.
I need to practice my poetry... -ponders- =3