The Familiar Stranger (I finished Chappie 4!) - Loonatics Unleashed Online message boards

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

The Familiar Stranger (I finished Chappie 4!)

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

RE: The Familiar Stranger

Rye · Anthros

You got my attention. Update soon. =3

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Thanks for the comments!

I got bored. Home from school, sick, so I'm gonna add more!

Chapter 1:

Rev walked out of his room. He had the strangest dream last night. He wondered what the dream meant. He shrugged it off, must of been something he ate last night. Rev ran up to the counter to make one of his quick-pick-me-up shakes. Lexi was making toast, Tech was in his lab, Ace was meditating, Duck was drooling over Misty Breeze, and Slam was eating. Everything seemed normal, maybe too normal. Rev's mind seemed to wander off, making up all sorts of wierd things. He shook his head. Just then, Zadavia appeared on the holocom. "Loonatics, I have an undercover mission for you." Tech came through the door. Ace came out of meditating, "Eh, what's up, Zadavia?"

"I have been informed of strange dissappearances at a certain night club. You must go there in disguise and find out what's been happening there, Zadavia out."

(Scene changes to the club where a tall, buff man is talking to his employees.)

"Tonite we are expecting a few 'special guests'. We must make sure they feel welcome, right?" The group laughs. They do not know that they are being watched by a curious coyote. No, this is not our beloved Tech, this coyote is a girl. Her super long, firey red hair was pulled back in a long braid. She was listening to every word they said. "Remember, once she plants it, sneak out unnoticed, and everything will be a big 'bang'! MUAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" The girl ran off, she knew exactly what they meant.

The Loonatics walked in through the door. Ace, Tech, Rev, Duck, and Slam all had matching tuxedos, and Lexi was wearing a cream evening dress, with a matching purse, of course. They sat down around a table, and planned their next move. They stopped short when the waitress walked up. Duck's jaw hit the floor. A skinny, tall coyote girl with a super long, firey red braid asked for their drink orders. After memorizing their orders, she walked away to get the drinks. Ace looked towards Tech. "Hey, Tech? You wanna follow that goil? See what might be goin' on behind the scenes?" Tech stood up. "Sure."

Tech followed the girl from a distance, pretending he was looking for the restrooms. She grabbed the drinks and turned around when she bumped into Tech. The drinks spilt all over the floor. "Oh my! I'm so sorry, sir! Excuse me, sir." She crouched down to pick up the broken pieces of glass. A cough came from beside them. She looked over towards him, her boss. A mop bucket was slid across the floor towards her. She stood up and turned to Tech, "Please sir, you must return to your seat, now." The mysterious man walked away. Once he was out of sight, the girl grabbed Tech's arm. "Listen, sir, you need to evacuate the building, now. There's a bomb in the storage room about to go off. Don't try to unarm it, you don't have enough time. Just get everyone out!" She turned to run, but Tech stopped her, "Wait! What about you?" The girl pulled from his grasp,"Don't worry about me! Get everyone out! Please, sir, trust me!"

Tech turned around and yelled,"Everyone out! There's a bomb in here!" Ace made a hole in the wall and people started running out through it. Rev grabbed people and ran them out, and Slam and Duck coppied by using their powers, as well.

Time was running out on the bomb...10.....9......8.......7.......6......5......4.....3.....2....1......KABOOM!

A large group of people were standing a few blocks away. Everyone made it out safely, everyone was present, that is, except for the coyote girl! Tech looked around for her, but she was no where to be found.

Around the corner of a building, there was a pair a bright blue eyes looking at Tech. The figure wrapped her cape around her and ran off.
(End of chapter 1)

Watcha think?

-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 15:04, 2007-03-23

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

The suspense!

Noooooooooooooooo!!! Put more up!!! I wanna know what happens next!!!

Black Oracle · Black Hole Survivor

Have you by any chance read one of my stories entitled "Love Stinks" Cassidy? Coz a few of the events and details in your first chapter there seems rather reminiscent of some of the things that occurred in my story too. Tho' i expect that your chapters to come will be more original.

I was a little uncertain about who the man was that had set up the bomb? Was he someone that worked at the club? Or was he just part of a villainous gang plotting to blow it up?

But i am intrigued by who this mysterious female coyote is? And why did Rev dream about her? I'm sure the answers will come.

Oh and your work might benefit from some more spacing and smaller paragraphs to make it more manageable to read.

Good first work!

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Black Oracle: No, I haven't.
Woops, sorry that I didn't fully explain the man. He is actually the owner of the club, who was planning to blow it up to destroy the Loonatics so he could take over the world. But he was not planning on having the mysterious female coyote knowing this, which is why she was spying on them.

As for more info on the "mysterious female coyote", you'll have to wait and see!

-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 15:05, 2007-03-23

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Chapter 2:

"I'm here at the scene of a bombing at a night club. No one was injured. I'm standing here talking to the owner of the building. Tell us, sir, do you have any idea who might have done this?" A news reporter shoved a microphone into the face of the owner. "Yes, I have an idea of who might have done this. That person is my own employee, and her name is Cassidy Coyote." He held up a picture to the camera. The picture was of a female coyote. She had super long, firey red hair pulled back in a braid. She also had chestnut-colored eyes.

Ace turned to Tech. "Isn't that the goil that took our drink orders?" The Loonatics were investigating the scene. "Yes, she also was the one who told me of the bomb." Lexi joined them,"But that doesn't make any sense. Why plant a bomb, then warn people about it?" The three Loonatics looked at each other. None of this made any sense, at all. Suddenly, Rev pointed to the top of a nearby building and shouted, "Look! Up-there!" Everyone looked towards where Rev was pointing. A shadowy figure was sitting on the roof. Ace shouted to Rev,"Go see who our 'guest' is, Rev."

Rev flew to the roof. The figure jumped backwards in suprise. Rev landed and walked towards the person. The mysterious figure backed away from Rev. The other Loonatics gathered in the alley. All Rev could see of the person was her eyes. They were chestnut brown, and filled with fear. Rev tried to calm her, "Don't-worry-we-just-want-to-talk-to-" Rev was cut off when the mysterious girl fell off the roof. She landed on Tech, knocking him over. She jumped up, frozen with fear. Duck pointed at her, yelling,"It's her! The bomb girl! Get her!" Duck ran towards her. The girl ran off, jumping on the top of the dumpster and flipped up to the dividing wall. Duck tossed three eggs at her. "Duck! Stop it!" Ace yelled at him. A blue bubble covered the girl's form, bouncing back Duck's eggs. She jumped down the other side of the wall. The Loonatics followed her. The girl slid on what seemed like a banana peel, clocking her head on the brick wall, knocking her unconcious. The Loonatics gathered around her. Tech and Ace glanced at each other.

(End of chapter 2)

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

Oooooh!!! Who is this mysterious person in the cloak? We must know more! We must!

Black Oracle · Black Hole Survivor

She slid on a banana peel? How embarrassingly unfortunate! And what made that owner of the night club so sure that his employee Cassidy was responsible for the bomb? Seems a bit rash of him to jump to such an accusation without any evidence to suggest so.

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

*is enjoying the fact that she has everyone wodering what's gonna happen next*

You must be patient. All questions will be answered soon.

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Chapter 3:

"So, Tech. This is the giol you were talking to?"The Loonatics were gathered at HQ. "That's right, cheif." Cassidy was lying on the couch, unconcious. Tech scratched his chin in thought. This girl looked familiar, but he couldn't place her. "I just hope that she didn't knock herself too hard." Everyone glared at Duck. "What? She could have been holding some sort of dangerous weapon. Sheesh! This is the thanks I get for possibly saving your tails?!" Cassidy blinked. "Can it, Duck. I think she's waking up!" Lexi pointed out. Slowly, Cassidy's eyes opened. She looked at them, her eyes widening. She scrambled to get up, nearly knocking Lexi over. "Whoa, whoa, wait! Calm down. We aren't gonna hoit you." Ace slowly moved towards her. She seemed to calm down somewhat, and sat still. "But, the alley, and you..." she pointed at Duck. She obviously did not completely trust them. "Don't worry about Duck, if he tries a stunt like that again, we'll chain him to the wall." Ace replied with wink, showing Duck and Cassidy that he didn't mean it.

"Well, let's start off with the name game, shall we?" Tech suggested. Ace nodded and looked towards Cassidy, signaling her to start. "Uh, ok. I'm Cassidy, but I thought that you would have already known my name." "We do, but just wanted to make sure. I'm Ace, and this is Tech, Lexi, Rev, Slam, and Duck." Ace replied, pointing to each as he said their name. "Now, what were you doing at the club last night?" Ace questioned. "I work there." She replied confidently. "Anything you wanna tell us about your boss?" Cassidy nodded before replying, "My boss, Mr. Hogwire, is very mean, well, at least to me. But he has a good reason for it, cause I am the one who ratted on him about the dissappearances,"

Ace cut her off, "Wait a second! You were the one who told Zadavia?" Zadavia appeared on the holocom, "Yes, she did, which makes him even more suspicious because he blamed the bombing on her." Cassidy nodded and continued, "He kidnapped several bank managers, threatening them if they didn't give them their money. He tried hard to make sure I never found out, knowing what I would do if I did. But I eventually found out, when I spotted a note on Mr. Hogwire's desk that said, "If you ever want to see them again, I suggest you give me the money, and don't breathe a word of this to anyone." It wasn't to hard to figure it out, money equals bank, it was obviously a ransom note, so he must have gone for the top person, manager. I contacted Zadavia and told her what was going on. We were half-way through our conversation when Mr. Hogwire found me. He put a necklace on me, and everytime I stepped out of line, the necklace sent pain through me. Then, last night, I overheard him talking to his thugs about planting the bomb. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. He was watching me almost all that night, except when I told Tech. That was the only time that he decided to dissappear." Cassidy took a long breath, waiting for the others to react.

"Do you have any proof of this?" questioned Zadavia. "Yes, you see, I have photographic memory, and I can remember what people say easily, so, maybe, if I concentrate hard enough, you might be able to see and hear what I witnessed last night." Cassidy closed her eyes and concentrated. After what seemed like forever, a light shone from her chest, and the proof was shown.

(End of Chapter 3)

Ick..... I don't like the man's name. Anyone got any better ideas for a name?

-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 20:12, 2007-03-24

Black Oracle · Black Hole Survivor

So she's a telepath? But she only said that she had a "photographic memory"? Ah well, minor point.

So why does Cassidy seem familiar to Tech then i wonder?

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

She's not a telepath. She has the ability to show people what she has in her photographic memory. Sorry if that's kinda confusing, I am bad at explaining.

Techy_Coyote · Beast

Welcome to the board! Nice story by the way! Keep up the good work! And this is my conscience... Lonewolf

Lonewolf: Hi... Hope you don't get hugged to death...

Techy( Me ): I can't believe my conscience is sooo negative!!!

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Chapter 4:

The Loonatics stared in disbelief. 'Maybe she should have warned us before using her powers', Ace thought. "That explains pretty much everything." Lexi commented. "But still, not everything. I still don't understand why he would blow up his own building. Does anyone else have any ideas?" They were silent in thought for a moment. "Well, if he managed to pin the blame on someone else, he could be able to collect the insuarance money." Tech offered. "Yes, but why go to all the trouble, unless he had a lot of insuarance on it." Ace agreed, but the whole plan seemed unpractical. "But, when he found me talking to Zadavia, he knew that you would be coming. So, if he got you out of the way, he could easily take over Acmetropolis. Destroying me would be a bonus, no one to rat on him any more."

Ace had a feeling that what the girl was saying was the truth. He didn't know if the others felt the same way. It wasn't just the fact that Cassidy had been affected by the meteor in the same way they did, he just knew that she couldn't be lying, after all, she is the one who told Zadavia. "Tech, Rev, go to the computer and see if you can track this guy down." Tech nodded and Rev pulled him over to the computer. Lexi turned to Cassidy, "Why don't I see if I can clean you up a bit?" Cassidy glanced down at her clothes. She was wearing a knee-high denim skirt that had a few tears at the bottom and her pink long-sleeved shirt needed some mending, and both looked like they hadn't seen the sight of a washing machine for months. Cassidy blushed at the sight of herself. Lexi grabbed her arm and led Cassidy to her room.

Ace walked up to Tech and Rev, who were busily tapping away at the computer keys. "Anything?" He questioned. "No-not-yet-Ace-but-I'm-sure-we'll-find-something-soon-so-don't-you-mmph!" Tech had grabbed Rev's beak to clamp it. "We found him! Exactly 3 miles north of HQ." Tech let go of Rev's beak. "Great job, guys. Now let's get the girls and jet!" Not as much as 2 seconds later, Lexi and Cassidy walked through the doors. In place of the denim skirt was a pair of cargo pants, and replacing the pink long-sleeved shirt was a cherry-red short-sleeved shirt. "Thank you so much, Lexi." Lexi put her hand on Cassidy's shoulder, "No problem. Hey guys, did you find him?" Ace nodded and Tech handed Cassidy a spare jetpack. "You wanna come along?" He asked. "Sure, if you guys don't mind." "Well, it's settled, let's jet!"

"According-to-my-GPS-he-should-be-just-about-" Rev stopped and the others nearly crashed into him, "here!" They landed on an empty street nearby the Acmetropolis park. Nothing was there, except the buildings. "You sure, Rev? I don't see anyone." Ace glanced at Rev. "He's sure." A loud voice came from behind them. Cassidy jumped, she knew whom that voice belonged to. "What? That streetdog is not behind bars, yet? This won't do good for your reputation, Loonatics!" Mr. Hogwire had called her many nasty names before, but 'dog'! He had crossed the line. "I'm not a dog! I'm a coyote!" Cassidy shouted. Ace glanced at Tech, "Looks like you're not the only one that doesn't enjoy that name!" Suddenly, the ground began to shake, huge robots surrounded them. "Say hello to a few freinds of mine, Loonatics! And say good bye to Acmetropolis!"

(end of chapter 4)

-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 13:15, 2007-03-25

Akira_Cat · Your local cat

RE: The Familiar Stranger (I finished Chappie 4!)

Rach Runner · Beast

Hurry up with chapter5

Ace:Tech we are running out of time here!

Tech:You can't rush brillance.

Ace:No but you can give it a swift kick in the can.

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

(I'm onna roll today!)
Chapter 5:

The vibrations from the robots knocked The Loonatics and Cassidy over. Huge cracks in the road appeared. The Loonatics jumped away before falling into them. Tech grabbed Cassidy's hand and pulled her to solid ground.Tech joined the others as the battle against the robots began. Slam spun into a tornado and ran into one, tearing it apart. Rev was running in circles around another's feet untill it fell over. Ace and Lexi used their powers to destroy another, and Tech and Duck did the same on a different one. Cassidy ran to help them when something grabbed her by the shoulder. It was just one of Hogwire's goons, she had delt with them before. She pulled away and activated on of her powers, she called it the flame toss, as a blue, flame-like glow covered her hands. She jumped backwards before tossing it on the ground. The glow stayed on the ground for a minute before dissapating. The man was distracted long enough for Cassidy to dissappear from his sight.

Soon, the Loonatics had destroyed the giant robots, but the battle wasn't over yet. Mr. Hogwire sent out his goons after them. "Destroy them! Except Cassidy, bring her to me." Cassidy was tackled by two of them, while the others tried to elimiate the Loonatics. The two managed to hold her still long enough to clap on a bracelet to each arm. Then, they dropped her. Casidy turned to attack them when, the bracelets glowed and turned her the other way! The bracelets were controlling her movements. They forced her to send a flame-ball hurdling at Tech. "Tech! Look out!" He jumped out of the way just in time. "Cassidy?! What was that about?!" Cassidy panicked, "I don't know! I need help!" Tech ran to her, but the bracelets glowed again, forcing Cassidy to knock him over. "Slam! Go help Cassidy!" Ace yelled.

Slam held Cassidy in tight bear hug. Tech used his electro-magnectism to remove the bracelets. Cassidy sighed with relief. The Loonatics and Cassidy surrounded Mr. Hogwire. Seeing himself outnumbered, surrounded, and outwitted, he surrendered.

Back at the Loonatics HQ, Zadavia is congratulating them on the succesful mission. "Mr. Hogwire revealed where he was keeping the bank managers hidden. The money has been returned, the roads have been repaired, and Acmetropolis is once again in your debt. Great job team." Zadavia turned to face Cassidy. "Cassidy, Ace has told me of your bravery during the mission, I also congratulate you." Cassidy blushed, she was used to getting sharp words or punishments, she didn't know what to say. "But, I wasn't that brave. Honestly, I was terrified." Ace replied softly, "Maybe you were, but you didn't let that get in the way of kicking butt. That is being brave."

Zadavia smiled. "Well, Cassidy, what are you going to do now?" She questioned. "I guess that I've got to find a job somewhere. I appreciate all that you have done for me, but I must leave now." Zadavia stopped her. "I was thinking Cassidy, since you also have been affected by the meteor's strike, we were wondering if you would like to stay a while." Cassidy turned and faced Zadavia. "I don't know. I mean, I would love to, but are you sure? I wouldn't be getting in the way or anything, would I?" Ace reassured her. "No, you wouldn't. And by the 'staying for a while' we kinda mean it in a 'join the team' sort of way." Cassidy stared in disbelief. Tech walked up, holding a uniform exactly like his, but a bit smaller and with blue points on it instead of green. He handed the uniform to her. "Welcome to the team." Cassidy was speechless. Lexi grabbed her arm excitedly, "Well, come on! Let's try it on!" She practically dragged Cassidy to her room, she was that excited.

When the girls were out of earshot, Ace and Zadavia continued talking. "For now, we'll have her on trial to see how she deals with the stress." Ace nodded in agreement. "How do you think she will do?" Zadavia queried.

(( will finish later))

-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 16:45, 2007-03-25

Black Oracle · Black Hole Survivor

Hmm, this all happened very quickly i must say. It didn't take long for the Loonatics to take down Hogwire. How did he obtain all those big robots? Those seemed random to me. And i question the judgement of the Loonatics in allowing Cassidy to come with them on a mission. I would have thought it'd be more likely that they'd tell Cassidy to stay put somewhere safe and out of harm's way.

And Cassidy, i must say that your 4th chapter again beared some striking similarities to my fic "Love Stinks" where the Loonatics met Romeo Le Pew. You had the Loonatics questioning why Hogwire would blow up one of his own business buildings and an offered reason of insurance, and those were elements in my story too. I feel strongly that you must have read it before? I don't want to come across as nasty and accusative here, but i get the feeling that you're plagiarizing on my work.

CassidyCoyote · Techie 4 life

Black Oracle: What you said made me realize something. I've been doing this story all wrong. I'm glad you pointed out the faults the way you did, I probably would have completely given up on this if you said it any other way. I'm just gonna completely stop this story for the time being and give it a "facelift" sorta thing. That way, it is less confusing to readers, and it sounds less like your story (Which, I must find and read it, as it is sounding very interesting...) Thank you! *hugs*

Rach Runner · Beast

nice story sis