Well it's not that you 'royally screwed up' on your first fic Cassidy. It's just that i was spotting alot of similarities between your fic and one of my past fics. But we'll see how you do with your 'revised' version here.

 Rev walked out of his room. He had the weirdest dream last night. He guessed it might of been something he ate last night, or maybe seeing what Slam ate last night. One word, ick. Rev shook his head and looked around. Ace was meditating, Duck was watching TV, Lexi was making toast for everyone, Slam was waiting impatiently for his toast, and Tech was nowhere to be found. "Probably-in-his-lab." Rev thought. He ran up to the counter to make one of his quick-pick-me-up-shakes. Zadavia appeared on the holo-com.

 "Loonatics, we have a crisis."

 Ace's eyes opened, "What's up, Zadavia?"

 "Massive is on a rampage. He has destroyed many buildings. Thankfully, no one is hurt, yet. You must stop him."

 Ace stood up, "We're on it, Zadavia!" He looked around, "Where's Tech?"

 Rev ran to the door of Tech's lab. "I'll-get-him!" He called out cheerfully. Rev ran in, only to run into Tech. "There-you-are!-Come-on!-We've-gotta-stop-Massive!" He said, pulling on Tech's arm.

 "OK. Let's Jet!" Ace ordered.

 A few moments later, our six heroes were searching for Massive. Rev was in the lead, using his GPS powers. He stopped suddenly. "Right-there-Ace!" Rev yelled, pointing down. Massive was using his powers to pick up cars and smash them into buildings. They could see several bags of money in his hand. They landed nearby and deactivated their jetpacks. Massive turned around and faced them.

 "Glad you could join me, Loonatics!" He picked up a car and tossed it towards them. Tech's eyes glowed green as he raised his arms and caught the car with his magnetic powers. The other Loonatics advanced. Ace ran and jumped up to karate-kick Massive. Massive used his powers to crush Ace into the ground. Lexi saw her chance. She jumped up and hit Massive hard, knocking him over and freeing Ace.

 Rev ran around Massive in circles, making him dizzy. Massive slammed his fist into the ground, and Rev tripped over it, sending him flying into Duck. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" Duck gathered a few eggs and sent them hurtling towards Massive. He picked up a steel pole and used it as a bat. Duck teleported himself out of the path of the in-coming eggs.

 Meanwhile, Tech had been busy working on a trap for Massive. He built a "electro-magnetic-catching-device", as he would call it, out of some items he found in his backpack. Massive turned from the Loonatics and ran to a small building. The building looked like a small, run-down fruit market. Massive stopped. "Here it is! I have found it!"

(End Chapter 1)

Questions? Comments? Bricks?

-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 18:55, 2007-04-13

Chapter 2: Hello, Cassidy.

 "What is he talking about? That's nothing but a run-down fruit fly market!" Duck questioned. The others had no answer. They all were confused by Massive's delight in having found...... uh....... whatever it was. Tech was almost finished with his device. Massive tore off the roof of the building, revealing a suprise for the Loonatics. Inside were many people, eating and talking. What suprised them more was the fact that the people inside hadn't heard what was happening outside, and that nobody outside could hear them that were inside. The people inside the building panicked and ran. Massive picked up one of them with his levatation powers. She was a coyote anthro, like Tech. Her long red hair was pulled back in a braid that nearly reached her tail. 
 
Tech handed the completed trap and handed it to Rev. "When I give the signal, push the button." He instructed, pointing to a large, red button on the side of the contraption. Rev nodded and pointed the device at Massive. 
 
 Ace lifted his communicator to his mouth. "Okay, on three, hit him, but be careful not to hit the girl! We have to free her." The others agreed and got into position. "One....... Two........ THREE!" All of them, excluding Rev, who was holding Tech's invention, activated their powers and hit Massive hard. He let go of the girl and turned to face the Loonatics.  
 
Tech activated his jetpack, and just before the girl hit the ground, caught her gently in his arms. The suprised girl looked up at her hero. The first thing that Tech noticed about her was her eyes, a deep, chestnut brown, completely contradictal to her fire-red hair. Tech held unto her tightly as they swerved to avoid incoming debris. Tech set her down with the crowd of people watching the Loonatics. He looked at her,  "Are you alright?" 
 
 "Yes, thank you." She answered. 
 
"No problem." He smiled at her and flew back to the others. Massive was running out of steam, but the Loonatics' plan had just started. Tech cupped his hands to his mouth, "NOW, REV!" Rev pushed the button. A huge, electro-magnetic net covered Massive easily. 
 
"Nice shootin' Rev!" Ace congratulated him. Rev beamed happily. Tech joined the others as the police were handcuffing Massive. 

 Two men pushed through the crowd, one of them was very mad. "How could this of happened?! How did he find us!? I demand to know who broke the oath!" 

 "Please, Mr. Kapuch, calm down. All will be fixed. No one was injured, thanks to the Loonatics." The other man said.  

 Mr. Kapuch calmed down slightly. Ace walked up to them. "I'm sorry to bother you, doc, but would you mind to let us in on what your freind is talking about?"

 "Yes, but not here. Do you have someplace to go where we can talk in private?" The second man asked.

 "Sure, follow us." 

 "Okay." He turned around. "Come along, Cassidy." He motioned to the girl Tech had saved. The girl nodded and followed him. Lexi nudged Tech in the arm and gestured towards the girl. Tech knew what she was trying to tell him, so he just shrugged.
(end Chapter 2)


-- Edited by CassidyCoyote at 16:28, 2007-04-30