As you can see, I'm a new member, not sure if it's very interesting but just tell me what are the minor mistakes and maybe I could fix it. Sorry if it's not really good.
Chapter 1: Pizza Duck? Just an ordinary day at headquarters.....Lexi listening to her PMP3 Music Blaster 5000, Ace meditating, Tech working on a new invention (this time in the living room), Rev watching Tech work (which kinda annoyed Tech), Slam making his fave sandwich and Duck watching T.V.
(doorbell rings) Lexi: I got it! (gets their pizza) Tech: Mmmmm! I smell my fave pizza! (gets a slice) Ace: (Opens one eye) Is that (opens the other eye) double peperonni pizza?! Rev: (runs and sniffs the pizza) Just the way you like it! Slam: PIZZA!!! Duck: uuhhh.......... Ace: Is he gonna be fine? Lexi: Don't ask me! That Duck has been watching T.V. 3 weeks straight non-stop! (bites her pizza) Rev: Well.........have you tried doing this! Duck: Rev: That was weird! He usually fights back. Well, let me try this! Duck: Rev: okay.....................so how about this! Lexi: Rev: Well.........This! Duck: Rev: This can't be happening! Tech: You ain't the only one shocked! (bites pizza) Ace: Let me try something!
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I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
Hello. And welcome to the LUO Fanbase. We hope you enjoy your time here .
And I do find this little comedy amusing. I especially like it when you used the emoticons to do some really random stuff and portray the characters emotions as you did there. Tee hee. I like this emoticon.
Is there a second chapter to this? Cos if there is, I hope you continue with it .
Welcome to LUO, Stylediva127! And great start on a fanfiction here. Although I doubt too much T.V. could possibly do any dammage to Duck's brian cells. Of course, hardly anything can. *hides from oddity*
Good story so far and welcome to the boards! I hope you enjoy your stay, no matter how long it may be. The emoticons really add personality to the fanfic.
Thanks for the welcome, and I am finding this site real cool! Don't worry there will be a second chapter. I'll make it about sometime today (when I'm done with my homework!)
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I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
Duck: I'm trying to watch my fave show! Lexi: Well, what do ya know? He can still speak after 3 weeks of no sleep and just eating popcorn and drinking soda! Ace: And the first to fight back! (Rev goes to the kitchen to get some chocolate) Tech: Finally! No one talking about making the biggest bird seed! Rev: Interesting....... You used the girls bathroom yesterday?! Tech: That's my diary 5000! (grabs diary) And nobody saw that! Rev: (gasp) I just remembered that found in page 42 you used to have a crush on......... Tech: Don't say it! How did you get this anyway? Rev: Secret! Lexi: (from Rev) Tech: Very funny........ Ace: Looks like Duck's finally interested besides the tv! Duck: What's this giant remote Tech? Tech: Well, I call it the Tech Remote 5000. Installed with the latest technology and the world's genius is the one who invented the very first.....TIME REMOTE!!! I can't wait for everyone to know about this! .............. Duck: Tech: Duck: Rev: He'll get over it. (drinks orange juice) Just think about the stuff that we could do with this! Duck: Hmmmmm......... We could use this to rewind our fave episodes and watch them again! No, no! How about we sell them! REV YOU'RE A GENIUS!!! (slaps Rev's back) Rev: Oooff! (accidentally spills orange juice on Tech's invention) Tech: Oh no! Duck: Boy you did it Rev! Rev: Tech: My brilliant invention! Duck: Oops. Tech: That's oops alright! Now I'll have to start from scratch! This won't be a time machine!
-- Edited by Stylediva127 at 07:39, 2007-11-22
-- Edited by Stylediva127 at 02:58, 2007-11-23
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I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
Lucky: Why can't you Toons just enter a room normaly?! Bonkers: Us Toons don't do normaly things! That's what makes us sooo adorable! X3 Lucky: Yeah, like a trainwreck. -__________-
Cassidy and Dusk: Freaky siamese twins seperated at birth.... ~ Andrea
Many thanks to HCoyote for the awesome avatar! I love it! <3
Danni- Official supporter of Tessidy, Sethidy, Cassless, Duri, Seck, Ricy, Dapphire, Calric, and Cassaghu 83 And Maley D. Because it's wrong. \8D/
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
Lexi: This is what happens when a duck and a roadrunner become two super friends.
Ace: It gets a coyote in trouble. Tech: (looks in the remote) Looks like this still works, but not to control time. I better scan it. (scans and checks it on his super computer.) Rev: Oh man! To bad he'll start all over again. Duck: Because someone just had to spill orange juice in it! Rev: Ace: Lexi: It doesn't matter! Just do something about it!
Duck: Like what help him with his invention?
Tech: I'm so glad you want to help me fix my remote! Rev: What a suggestion!
Tech: You two can start helping when I'm done analyzing what happened to my remote. ( Rev watched his show on T.V., Duck walked to the remote) Duck: Oooh! (about to press something) Rev: What are you doing!? Duck: What?!
Rev: Give me that remote! (grabs) Duck: Give it back! Rev and Duck:
Rev: (pushed by Duck) Oof! (falls on the sofa)
Duck: Geez! I was just gonna change the channel! This may work onthe T.V.
Lexi: MAY! But I agree with Rev, just leave it alone.
Ace: And make it snappy! Tech might be back any second! Duck: Here we go! channel 527! (press buttons) Tech: (comes in) What are you doing!!! Duck: duh! changing the channel! Ace: Tech! What's happening?! Slam: Aaaaah! ( A big flash came upon the Loonatics, and they disappeared in the light)
-- Edited by Stylediva127 at 08:37, 2007-11-24
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I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
Chapter 4: T.V. Trouble ( The Loonatics wake up ) Lexi: Uh! What happened? Ace: No idea! But all I know is that we went from superheroes to newscasters! Rev: What!!!!! Duck! Duck: What? It's not my fault we got sucked to (voice becomes softer and softer) the T.V. Tech: That's right! Because of the orange juice, and your addiction of T.V. we teleported from reality to T.V. reality! Slam: Here comes the news guys! Newscaster: Welcome everyone! To Acme News at 6! My name is Penelope Cat! And here's our guests, the Loonatics!
ALL:
Penelope: But before that, remember parents! Don't let your kids watch too much T.V.! Too much T.V. rots your brain! Lexi: Told ya. (channel changed) ( A bunch of clothes float everywhere ) Lexi: Wow! We're in the Shopping Channel 24/7! (gets a hat and tries it on) Rev: And I thought Duck knows all the channels! Duck: Could we focus on these girls making me wear this dress!! Ace: Never knew you look good in pink! Tech, Rev and Slam:
(channel changed)
( A football is thrown to Lexi's hands )
Lexi: (catches it) Nice. (football players jump on her all at once!) Duck: Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark! Tech: Yeah think! Lexi:
-- Edited by Stylediva127 at 06:52, 2007-11-27
__________________
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
and welcome, i say, welcome to the boards of LUO. Please keep your hands and legs inside the ride at, well, almost all times. Otherwise, have a, i say, have a ball of a stay here, fun that is.
and welcome, i say, welcome to the boards of LUO. Please keep your hands and legs inside the ride at, well, almost all times. Otherwise, have a, i say, have a ball of a stay here, fun that is.
I work on the next chapter soon!!! When I get home from shopping!
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I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
Sorry for a no show here on this fan fic! Christmas shopping doesn't do itself you know! Anyways here it is! the long time no see chappe 5!
Chapter 5: Separated
(Ace and Rev help Lexi out of the pile) Lexi: This is the reason why I hate sports! (6 portals open up and sucks one loonatic in one of them) Loonatics: AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!
(Ace teleports into the cooking channel, Lexi into the Extreme Channel, Tech into a gameshow, Rev into a kids show, Duck into a water skiing channel, and Slam into a Weather Forecast Channel) Ace: I told you, I don't have time to chop the chives! Host: Oh please! You've gotta stop kidding! Ace:
Lexi: Like I'm suppose to be scared! Host: Here we are on top of a 6-story building. Where Lexi Bunny is going to bungee jump 3 times! So, Lexi are you scared? Lexi: Not really Host: You'll be doing it 3 times doesn't that scare you? Lexi: No. Shouldn't you? Host: Why would I? Lexi: Cause, if you don't keep your mouth closed I'll make sure you join the bungee!
Tech: I told you I'm not a contestant! Host: Isin't he a kidder!
Cartoon Character: Have you seen my duck? We are playing, he is hiding and I am seeking! Rev: Actually I'm looking for one myself!
Duck: Aaaaaaahh! How many times do I have to tell you! I'm not good in water skiing?! Host: Nonsense!
Slam: Uh.........(sweating).......Today, we'll be having hail the size of mini vans, and um......we'll have a massive earthquake! Then a lightning storm, but it will clear up!
END OF CHAPTER 5 If you want me to continue, please leave a comment so that I'll know if people are still reading!!! Thank you!
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I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
*falls over laughing* That was awesome! I especially liked Lexi's part.
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I believe in Jesus Christ as my Saviour
Lucky: Why can't you Toons just enter a room normaly?! Bonkers: Us Toons don't do normaly things! That's what makes us sooo adorable! X3 Lucky: Yeah, like a trainwreck. -__________-
Cassidy and Dusk: Freaky siamese twins seperated at birth.... ~ Andrea
Many thanks to HCoyote for the awesome avatar! I love it! <3
Danni- Official supporter of Tessidy, Sethidy, Cassless, Duri, Seck, Ricy, Dapphire, Calric, and Cassaghu 83 And Maley D. Because it's wrong. \8D/
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]
I wish upon a star Wanna be right where you are You set my world on fire Babe I got a crush on you I wish upon a star Can't you see how right we are We should be together Babe I got a crush on you
So if you feel the way I do Would you fancy to To take a ride beside me?
Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]