Loonatics Unleashed Fanfiction Challenge - no. 31 – façade (Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

plot – Lexi’s getting married to Ace! Or is she really?

I stand perfectly still as my mother zips around, measuring, cutting cloth, adjusting pins, picking out accessories, and criticizing every move I – and she – does.

“Mom, this is great-grandma’s bracelet, and I am going to wear it,” I say firmly, keeping my grip on a string of alternating round jade and jet black beads, with a small tight knot marking the place where the ends of the strings met. My mother holds up a silver bracelet with two small gold charms that split it into two parts. If you look closely, they spell ‘WB’.

“But it’s so odd, and this came from your great-grandma as well,” she says earnestly. “And you’ve almost never worn it!”

“Why do I want to wear the initials of some person I don’t even know?” I ask in exasperation.

“It’s tradition, Lexi,” reminds my mother. “Tradition!”

“Can’t I just wear both?” I suggest for the second time. My mother shakes her head and continues to measure the cloth for my dress.

“But it’s so odd,” she repeats, sticking a pin in the fabric. “Six lengths!”

“Okay, okay…” I sigh. I look at the mirror again. There is my dress – or what was going to be my dress, anyway. Pins stick out all over the place.

“Will you have kids?” my mother asks mischieviously, plucking out a pin from a jar of lotion that she uses to prevent the pins from rusting.

“Mom!”

“Well, it’ll happen eventually, right? What’ll you name them?”

“We’ll decide when that actually happens,” I laugh.

“Aren’t you so glad you’re getting married?” she sings, carefully poking the pin through my sleeve.

“Yeah…yeah, I am…” I look in the mirror again, but instead of a happy, grinning countenance, I see a sad, tired face.

And then I remember that one night.

I had the ring Ace gave me that afternoon. It was sunset when he proposed – it was six hours later, after many phone calls to my family, my friends, and family friends, and I was ready to sleep.

But I couldn’t. I had gotten up and slipped the ring off my finger, holding it up to the moonlight streaming in through my window when there was a knock at the door. Surprised, I said “c’min” and then door slid open.

“So…it’s finally happening,” said a familiar voice. I grinned and the lights flicked on. Danger Duck, in orange pajamas with yellow trim, was framed in the doorway, like so many times before.

“Can you believe it? He actually asked! He’s serious! He’s actually serious! I can’t believe it! It’s so…perfect!” I couldn’t help but gush with delight. If I were any other girl, I would’ve been squealing in happiness.

“Congratulations,” Duck said quietly, sitting next to me on the bed. “So you’re getting married.”

“I…yeah…I am.” My bout of glee faded as I looked at his forlorn face. “Oh…Duck…you’re not…you’re still upset?”

“I – no, of course not! I’m just-” He faltered, waving his hand around in a useless sort of manner. “Just…at a loss for words, I guess.”

“Duck…please don’t be upset,” I started, but he only turned away. “Please…don’t be upset! You said-”

“I know what I said!” he snapped, jumping up. A moment’s silence passed between us, then I stood up as well.

“Duck…please…what’s wrong?” When I received no response from him, I placed a hand on his shoulder, but he jerked it away. “Duck, tell me!” I ordered, grabbing both of his shoulders and turning him around to face me. He glowered for a second, then looked down at the floor.

“What, don’t you know already?” he said bitterly, refusing to look at me. “I thought you were more perceptive than that, Lexi.”

I stared at him, and unconsciously, I let him go. He sat down, but after a few seconds, he stood up again and just stood awkwardly in front of me. I sat down in the chair next to my table, and he sat down again, now clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed.

“Er…sorry…I’ll just…go now,” he muttered, standing up again and walking to the door.

“No, wait,” I said quickly. He stopped about two feet away from the door. I couldn’t see his face. “Duck, look, Ace, he…you know we’ve been dating for months now –”

“We were dating for months,” he interrupted, turning to face me. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

After a long silence, I finally said, “I…wasn’t ready then…I’m sorry, but –“ I stopped, at a loss for words again. I thought I saw his eyes watering.

“Why him?” he said, his voice breaking. “You said yes to him…”

“Duck, I wasn’t ready when you asked, I told you that! And you…you said –”

“I know what I said!” he said angrily, his hands clenching into fists. “I know what I did, I don’t need reminding! And I hate myself for doing it now! I hate it, I hate, I hate me…” And then he completely broke down, falling to his knees and hiding his face in his hands. “I hate myself…”

“Don’t say that, don’t ever say that!” I jumped out of my chair and strode over to him. I bent down and grabbed his wrists, forcing them away from his face. His blue eyes, wet and slightly bloodshot, stared up at me in surprise. “It’s not your fault I said no when you asked…I just wasn’t ready then! Don’t hate yourself for breaking it off. It…it was all my fault,” I whispered miserably. I dropped his arms and let my own hang loose at my sides. My eyes looked down at the floor, which suddenly blurred as tears started working their way out. I closed them, hoping that that would stop the flow.

Silence again.

Then my eyes opened again as I realized he was hugging me. I could hear his heart beating fast against my shoulder, and I could hear him breathing, his breaths shaking like his body was.

“I’m sorry,” Duck whispered. He sounded so much like a little kid… I wrapped my arms around him, returning his hug. His innocent voice broke my heart, and I let the tears run down my face freely.

“Don’t say that…you shouldn’t be sorry for anything that happened…it was my fault,” I said. “Don’t be sorry…”

“But I am,” he replied, pulling away. His eyes were filled with tears, but his face was dry. “It wasn’t your fault at all. If I didn’t…we could be…I could have waited, but I didn’t…I shouldn’t even be talking to you like this!” he said, and a tear escaped, followed by a whole stream of tears. He hid his face again.

“Duck,” I began, but he stood up.

“I’m sorry…”

“What did I just say?” I said, and anger began to mix with my sadness. “Don’t be sorry!”

“You know what? It was pointless to even talk to you…you should be getting some sleep,” he said, wiping his tears away, his eyes now cold and blank. “I won’t waste your time anymore.”

“No, Duck –” I grabbed his shoulder, but he shrugged it off again.

“Good night,” he said quickly, determinedly not looking at me, opening the door and leaving. The door hissed shut again, leaving me alone and cold.