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Post Info TOPIC: A new enemy or friend?


Human

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Posts: 6
Date:
A new enemy or friend?
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Ok,what I'm doing here is a bit retarded,but I'm not writing the story 'Saviour'.This isnt because I thought the comments were bad(They were

actually quite helpful),but I was just a bit eager to put up a fanfiction(Seeing as everyone else had) and I didnt think about continuing the

story,just the beginning.So yeah,please forgive aww

=Within one of Acmetropolis' dark alley's=

A woman and runs as fast as she can from the three approaching figure's,her arms and legs pumping furiously.Unfortunetaly she never saw the

coming pebble that seemed a boulder,sending her tumbling several metres.Landing into a dead end,there is no where else to run.The figure's

come closer.
"Looks like there aint nowhere to run beautiful" Says one of the figure's as he closes in on her left side
"Nice purse,mind if we take a look?" Says another as he comes in from the center and grabs at her purse
"Help!"
"Thats not gonna work here cutie,there isnt anyone for another mile" The men get closer and closer until suddenly a can from behind is

kicked.They whirl around to see a young lioness standing there,looking frightened enough.
"Who are you?" Snaps one of the men
'They're nothing but average crooks,no threat'
"Me,Im no-one...well actually Im me but..." She is interupted
"WE DONT CARE" A roar of laughter comes the men
'Thats a threat,just one second and its all better'
'No,I know what your going to do'
"Actually,come to think of it,you do look better off then this one" Says one as he releases his gaze off the women
"I...no,Im poor,um.." Another roar of laughter
'Cant even concentrate can you?You could take each one of them down with little effort yourself!'
'Well I wont,Im not like you'
"Nice try,we're not that thick"
'*snicker*'
The woman backs off a little as the lioness begins to walk back,but one of the men jump behind her.
"Where do you think your going?"
"Im,Im just going home..."
'You cant even lie properly,just one second alone...'
"No,I already told you" She sputters out as she is backed into a wall
"She's a loony alright"
"Maybe we should show her to the Loonatics tower" Another round of laughter
'...With that kind of humour,you should be thanking me'
'Fine,but please...dont...'
'I know,minimal force required'
The wind changes and blows through the alley,causing the men to blink.Suddenly,the lioness' fur seems to tone darker and her hair which

originally drooped over the left eye has switched to the right.
'Please...'
"Hello gentlemen,a fine autumn breeze I detect?" The men are more then confused and stare rather dumbfounded at this strange personality

before them.
"S'matter,cat got your tongue?" She slaps one of them lightly
"Hey,get off!"
"Ooooh,a sensitive one indeed!" The man charges her but despite running right at her,he slams into the wall and falls flat on his back.She

kneels down to him.
"Theres a wall there..." He quickly gets up and trys again,only to end up where he was before
"Keep trying this is getting fun,but remember,this next one is your last chance to prove yourself"
"Hey man,maybe you shouldnt"
"SHUT UP!" Infuriated by his last failed attempts,he moves to face a direction that has no wall opposite and sprints full pace at her.At the

last second just as he is about to run into her,he is caught in one hand and thrown to the ground,unconcious.The other two men,stare at her.
"You wanna' go?" The two run faster then their partner did.
"I can play soft,if you want!" The woman-who had just watched the whole scene unfold-is hugging the alley wall at the dead end.The lioness'

walks over.
"Try to be a bit more careful,scum maybe simple,but it isnt dumb" She says with a wink.
'See that wasnt so bad,now was it?'

=In the Loonatics tower=

"Hey guys,come check this out" Duck calls out
"What is it Duck?" Ace
"CHECK IT OUT,NO LEGS!" Duck is doing a handstand and holding a ball in his fins(I cant really remember what ducks have on their feet,if

anyone remembers,please inform me).Only silence
"Oh,I'd like to see any of you doing something NEARLY as great as this!" At that moment,Slam walks into the room with several plates

balancing on each other.
"I think he's beat cha' duck" Duck falls down,face first.He gets back up
"Feh,I merely lost concentration for a moment.Every pro has those moments"
"Duck,pro means your good at it" Ducks dismisses the comment with a huff and can be heard mumbling "Your all despicable" as he leaves the

room.He passes Tech as he goes through the door
"Whats up his beak?"
"Not a brain,I can tell ya' dat'"
"Hmmm,well I just wanted to show you something"
"A new toy?"
"No,this" Tech brings up the newspaper and presents it to Ace,who takes it and reads the headline 'Acme Prisons Over-Booked'
"The prisons in Acmetropolis are starting to fill up and they dont have much space left"
"So what are you suggesting we do?"
"We dont exactly have to do anything,since they're building a new prison in the Acmetropolis north district.But they say that they might need

us to help them patrol the more maximum security area's while the other guards are brought up to speed"
"Well,its been a slow crime week anyway...I'll tell everyone"

Please tell me what you think,thank you.



__________________

After being hit in the face by mash potatoes"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Being cute and spontaneous?"

Rye


Angela is always right!

Status: Offline
Posts: 3734
Date:
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Seems promising! Good job so far. ^ ^; The only thing I'd point out is that you should be putting spaces after your commas and such. Other than that, nice work. =3

__________________
Rye is too lazy to bring back her banners. D:


Human

Status: Offline
Posts: 6
Date:
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This is the next chapter of this story. Enjoy! (Please)

=In a prison wardens office=

"Uh sir, the Loonatics are here to see you" said a young guard as the Loonatics followed him in.
"Oh yes, I have been expecting you. I was glad to hear that you were willing to help with the lack of guards"
"We're 'ere ta' help warden"
"Good, each of you take a map and off you go"

=On patrol=

"I don’t even know half these guys" Tech pondered out loud as he passed another one of the seemingly infinite cages 'No wonder they're

running out of space'
As he walked along his eyes passed through the bars of one of the cells and he spotted something peculiar. As he stopped his eyes fixated on

the strange being that was sitting down, reading. A lioness, in a perfect white overlapping dress and a gleaming white shirt. She looked up

at him, and flicked him a smile. Confused (That’s a first for Tech), he couldn’t help but ask...
"Why are you in here?"
"Pardon?"
"Why...are you...in here?"
"I committed a crime"
"What type of crime?"
"A bad one"
"What did you do?"
"A crime" Tech slaps his forehead
"Oh, you mean as in what crime was it. Well I stole a few things, but I didn’t really mean to. But, I'm happy here" And with that, she gives

a bright smile and returns to her book. Tech-feeling an urge...no a duty to free this young, innocent lioness from such a dank future-went

straight to the wardens office to speak with him.
"Warden, I’d like to talk to you about the prisoner in cell 150-C..."
"Oh yes, she was imprisoned just recently. Yesterday morning, she came running into the reception area, begging that we put her in a cell. We

didn’t really want to, but she wouldn’t stop begging. So we decided that the situation would only worsen if we didn’t do something, but we'll

probably kick her out today. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, I was just wondering"
Tech heads back to the cell, to find that Lexi is standing next to the cell talking to her.
"I'm not sure if you should be in here then"
"No, believe me, I belong in here"
"Hey Tech, have you met Nina?"
"Partially" He spoke in a whisper to Lexi "She really shouldn’t be in here, she hasn’t done anything wrong"
"I have, I’ve done something very wrong!" Tech and Lexi are surprised that she heard
"What would that be?"
"Um...I...uh...I returned a library book late!"
"..."
"Well, not really..."
"Look, there’s a problem with prison overcrowding and...well, your not helping" Tech said, trying to cover his annoyance
"Oh...really...Well I wouldn’t want to be a bother"
'Listen to them! Defend yourself; tell them how wrong they are!'
"Uh........"
"Are you saying that you’re afraid to leave your cell?"
'You can’t do ANYTHING RIGHT!'
"Yes I can!"
"You can?"
"What...oh...no...I...I mean"
"Look, the warden's kicking you out today anyway, so if you want we can help"
"What! No!"
'Yes!'
"'Fraid so, but we can help"
"No, please, just find another place to lock me away. PLEASE!" The two are surprised at her sudden outburst, at which point two guards come

up to the cell.
"Okay freako, you’re getting out today"
"NO, PLEASE! JUST KEEP ME IN HERE, KEEP ME IN HERE AND THROW AWAY THE KEY! PLEASE!" The guards start to drag her out, Lexi and Tech just

stare

=Back at the Loonatics tower=

"And that’s what happened" Lexi finished telling the story, with everyone around listening intently (Minus Duck of course)
"Jeez, ya'd think they would’ a let er' stay..."
"Apparently not, and I’m thinking that she may be a danger"
"Ta' who?"
"Anyone"
"Well, let’s see if we can find out who she is...I managed to swipe her file from the prison network" Tech inserts a disk into the hologram

and the exact lioness which was in the cell appears in the image.
"Who is she?" Ace asked
"Well, we have that much. Rev?"
"Her-name-is-Nina-Liefda-Baeret-aged-twenty-one-lioness-she-came-from-outside-of-Acmetropolis'-main-city-areas-with-her-sister-Cynthia-they-w
orked-as-cooks-until-a-small-incident-involving-Sypher-after-which-there-isnt-anymore-recorded-information-just-rumours-kinda-weird-if-you-as
k-me"
"What was the incident involving Sypher" Tech asked
"No-information-on-that-either-just-something-about-an-'incident'"
"Well that’s odd"
"Can we get to point please?" Asked Duck in his usual 'Are we there yet' tone
"Well, I’m just worried that she may be trying to protect people" Lexi responded without any sign of annoyance
"Ta' who?"
"Everyone"

I hope you enjoyed it. Comment if you wish...

__________________

After being hit in the face by mash potatoes"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Being cute and spontaneous?"

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